Anthem For The Underdog
by o0RainbowParadise0o
Summary: With the Kira Case over, everything seems to be good, right? Well, then why is L so worried? What's going on with Near? Why does Mello have so many anger issues? Dark times are ahead. MelloxNear & LxLight! A & BB will be in this! This story will be dark!
1. Prologue: He's dead

A/N: This prologue takes place in the past (you'll understand it more throughout the story). The main pairing of this story is going to be a MelloxNear story. The other pairing that is going to be in this story is going to be LxLight.

I do put the pairings in AxB order, so Mello & L are seme. :]

This story will contain A in it! :D

Thank you Sashocirrione in catching a spoiler about A! x]

For those of you who haven't read "Death Note Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases" or don't know who A or BB is, don't read this story because it contains a bit of the original arc & I don't wish to spoil it for ya. If you already know who A & BB are, then go ahead and read. For those of you who don't know about A & BB but want to know, go look them up on wikipedia. :)

I'm going to warn everyone ahead of time that this story is going to be dark (that's why it's rated M & I might stick some lemons in here :3 lol).

Oh! Also, I named this story Anthem For The Underdog because that song (which is by 12 Stones) gave me inspiration for this story.

Warning: This story is going to be dark (containing violence, dealing with suicide, and possibly having lemons in the future).

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

"He's dead."

Watari's eyes widened. _Dead?!_ Shock and panic ran through the elder's body, chilling his bones. This couldn't be right. Roger must be wrong.

Watari's voice was slightly rattled when he asked, "Excuse me?"

"Watari," Roger let out a deep sigh before continuing, "A has commit suicide."

There was a moment of silence between the two older men. Watari could feel his heart pounding in his throat. A had killed himself? A, the successor to L, had killed himself? A, the one meant to work beside _L_, has committed _suicide_?! How could this be? How could this happen? Why had he done this?

Roger broke the silence and explained, "A was found in his room this morning. The place was a mess." Roger sighed before finishing, "He had cut his wrists, and he had...slashed his own throat."

Watari shook his head in disbelief at the reality before him. The poor boy. He was so young, so very young. The age of fifteen was not meant to be a death age, not at all. In a sorrowful voice Watari breathed, "This is very dreadful news....What could have caused such an act?"

Watari could hear the anguish in Roger's voice. The elder could tell that Roger was extremely troubled, perhaps more so than Watari. Although, Watari could expect this, considering that Roger knew everyone within the orphanage personally.

"I wish I knew." Roger's breathing was uneven. "Ashton was so full of life....Well, he use to be. I should have been paying more attention. I didn't know he was so depressed. I knew he wasn't himself but suicide? _Suicide?_ I wish...." Roger sighed. "I wish there could have been some way to prevent this. I wish I would have known what had shaken A so badly."

On the other line, Watari nodded. He would have reassured Roger that it wasn't the man's fault, but Watari agreed with himself that it would be best for him to mourn first before trying to overcome it. Sometimes, mourning was in order before one could truly begin to gather up their sadness and move on.

"I'll inform L right away." Watari said, trying to wrap up the conversation. He knew it wasn't the easiest thing in the world for Roger to explain this tragic event.

Roger nodded slowly. "Bye Watari."

"Bye Roger." Watari hung up the phone and shook his head. He grabbed the silver tray that had a French vanilla cake sitting on top of it and began to head out of the kitchen.

Watari entered the room where L sat quietly at his desk. The detective wasn't in the middle of a case at that time. L was simply going through old cases he had solved in the past. Watari set the silver tray on the edge of L's desk.

Looking up from the files, L gave a nod of gratitude. "Thank you, Watari."

Watari gave L a sympathetic look. Now facing L, Watari wasn't sure if he should share the news or turn and leave. Watari was unsure how L would react to this coming news. Would he be lamenting? Would he be indifferent? Would he quickly move on? Would this sorrow be locked up within L for years to come? Even for as long as Watari had known L, he was unsure how the raven-haired detective would react.

"L," Watari tried to just force the news out in a single sentence but stopped as soon as he tried to begin. A large lump had formed in his throat.

L turned his attention away from the cake he was about to take a slice of and looked up at Watari. The light emotion that had been within L's onyx eyes faded into a gray seriousness. A slight frown formed on his lips as the two of them remained in silence for a couple more moments. Neither one of them moved. It was as if L had already known that Watari was going to be the bringer of bad news.

"What is it, Watari?" L asked quietly, his onyx eyes still staring up at the man. Watari could see L's eyes searching him, trying to silently pry the information out of him.

Watari sighed. The news would have to be shared one way or another. He closed his eyes for a moment and shifted his weight nervously. "L," The man began again.

"A has committed suicide."

L's lips parted slightly in a silent gasp as his eyes widened. This shocked expression only appeared for a moment before L became gravely serious. The light left L's eyes, as did the light emotion. Watari observed how rigid L's body and movements became. L's gaze fell to the silver tray. L's finger ran across the cold, metal sides of the tray.

L shook his head and rose from his chair. Watari silently swore he heard L let out a painful sigh. L moved across the room, moving over to the large windows on the side of the room. The detective was slouched forward as he usually was. One of his hands slipped into one of his jean pockets as the other hand rested against the glass of the window.

The detective's onyx eyes stared out at the restless city. As hurried and restless the city was, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Even within the room, things seemed slower. L wondered if the grandfather clock sitting on the edge of the room was broken. It seemed to tick slower than usual.

"Where was he found?" L asked, deep in thought. Watari knew that L was needing to know the information behind this tragedy. Watari could see how troubled L was. The more time passed, the more hurt L appeared, but even in this injured state, L's voice remained even and calm.

"He was found in his room this morning." Watari slowly added, "A had cut his wrists and...throat."

L was silent. His obsidian bangs shadowed his onyx eyes as L stared out at the setting sun. The brilliant colors of the sky seemed more intriguing today than usual. The colors of pink, violet, gold, and orange blended beautifully within the darkening sky. The color orange stood out more vividly then the rest of the colors. _Orange...._

L let out a shaky breath, not caring if it was heard by Watari or not. It had slipped out against his will. For a moment, L wondered if A was making the sunset look brighter than usual today. L wondered if A was making that vivid orange glow across the sky, in hopes that L would see it.

"Watari," L called out abruptly, "Could you please take the cake back? I'm not in the mood for French vanilla."

The way L had worded that sentence made Watari wonder if L was requiring some other kind of pastry or food. Watari took the tray and paused in the doorway. "Is there anything else you want?"

L nodded. He hesitated before answered, "Could you please bring me a pumpkin pie?"

Watari studied the detective for a moment before asking again, "Is that all you will be requiring?"

L slowly inched around until he was facing Watari. L's raven-black hair was still shadowing one of his onyx eyes. His other eye was dripping with twisted emotions, something Watari didn't see to often. L's stance seemed weaker than usual. It was as if he was trying to keep his posture, trying to force his legs not to shake beneath him.

In a quiet voice, L asked, "An apple would be nice....A red apple. That will be all."

Watari nodded but did not move away from the doorway. L turned back to the window, staring back at the sky. Watari turned but stopped again, not leaving the doorway. There was something winding in his mind. It was something that Watari was curious about and needed to be settled.

"Will it be Beyond who succeeds you now?"

L's head jerked around to the side, causing Watari to flinch in surprise. A single onyx coal stared across the room at the elder. A wicked emotion smothered his eye. The frown on L's face deepened. There was an jagged edge to his tone. There seemed to be some sort of underlying meaning when he replied with a short and unyielding, "No."

* * *

Yay for prologues! :]

This part of the story will make more sense after you continue reading the story.

I'd love to have reviews from everyone! I love reading everyone's comments. :)


	2. Chapter 1: Life As Near Knows It

A/N: This chapter didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but I'm still fairly happy with it. :] Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

Near sat on the tile floor of the Common Room. Alone in the room, the only noise that could be heard was the soft clicking of the puzzle pieces fitting together. Only a few minutes passed before Near's fingers craftily placed all the pieces together, finishing the blank, white puzzle for another time that day.

This was one of the few things Near did on a lazy Saturday. Most of the children within Wammy's Orphanage would choose to play outside and enjoy having a break out of school, but Near almost always chose to stay within the Common Room. If he wasn't in the Common Room, then he would more than likely be up within his room playing with the robot figurines he had a liking to.

Puzzles. Near believed that several children within the Orphanage thought of him as a puzzle. Near wasn't exactly an ordinary individual. He was different from everyone physically and mentally. Yes, this was an orphanage for mentally gifted individuals, but still Near remained obviously different from everyone.

Near was born with albinism. His skin was extremely pale. It wouldn't change in the slightest if he chose to be outside for most of his time. The fact that Near easily burned was probably a contributing factor as to why he stayed indoors. Like his pigment, Near's hair was snowy white. Each lock curled gently, making Near's hair appear like a mound of fallen snow. Near's eyes were silvery-gray like a hovering mist during a rainfall; unlike what most people thought, not all albinos had distinct, pink eyes.

In theory, white would stand out more than any other color, but in this case, it was actually quite the opposite; Near usually went unnoticed by orphans and teachers alike. The fact that Near looked different from the other children could be a factor as to why no one really noticed him, but Near knew the real reason why.

Near's thinking patterns and emotions were portrayed as unusual by the other children. Naturally, Near was an introvert. He kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. Actually, Near could be described as an _extreme_ introvert due to the fact that Near never showed his emotions to anyone. Over the years, Near showed less and less emotion until he completely locked up his feelings inside. Now, in Near's mind, he didn't believe he had a true, logical reason to show anyone his emotions.

His emotions were replaced with logic. Near observed everything in a logical manner. He had never once let his emotions get the best of him, not recently at least. It would have been inevitable as a young child, but now at the age of fifteen, he had full control. Perhaps this was the reason as to why Near was labeled as number one at the orphanage; he didn't let his emotions distort his way of thinking.

Even with being at the top, the students refused to have anything to do with him. Well, every student except for two. Linda was one of them. She was a brown-haired girl who's hair was usually up in two, high pigtails. Everyone had known Linda to have a talent in art, but in actual studies and tests, her grades faltered.

Linda would often come into the Common Room to show Near her newest pieces of art or to say a simple hello. Near knew that several individuals within the orphanage disliked Linda because they found her to be an annoying, loudmouth tattletale. Near, however, didn't dislike her; he had no reason to. Linda's motives towards him were always considerate, and Near didn't see the reason to turn down kindness.

Kindness wasn't something he received too often. Although, Near never really thought much of it. Kindness wasn't exactly something Near felt like he needed. He was content with his puzzles, robots, and studies. His sociality wasn't exactly a large part of his orphan life. The other person, however, who looked upon Near was--.

Suddenly, the twin doors of the Common Room flew open and slammed against the wall. A raged blond stormed into the room. He had long, golden strands that came down to his shoulders. His skin was lightly sun-kissed. He was wearing a solid black shirt with long sleeves and dark blue jeans that were a bit tight. His hands were tightened into fists as he stomped across the room, heading over to Near. His mouth was twisted in a sneer as his icy blue eyes flashed with frustration and fury.

It was Mello.

Mello was labeled as number two at Wammy's Orphanage. He also happened to be the exact opposite of Near. Unlike Near, who was logical and seemingly unemotional, Mello almost _always_ acted on impulse. The blond was driven by his emotions. Mello was impulsive, aggressive, and extremely independent. He did what he wanted whenever he wanted. Different from Near, Mello greatly stood out.

Everyone knew not to mess with Mello unless they wanted to get a black eye. Some were okay acquaintances with the blond, but most of the students chose to avoid him possible out of fear. The only one that didn't fear the blond was Matt.

The main reason that Mello didn't choose to associate himself with others was most likely because they were lower ranking then himself. One reason Matt was still Mello's friend was because he was close enough on intelligence level to talk to and also because Matt didn't surpass Mello in intelligence level. Matt was number three, and Mello was number two. Near was number one, thus creating a problem.

"Near!" Mello fumed, his icy eyes glaring down at Near.

The albino looked up from his finished puzzle. He glanced over at Mello through silver-gray eyes. He already knew that nothing good was going to come out of this conversation—or one-sided argument.

Nevertheless, Near answered, "Yes, Mello?"

As soon as Near and Mello's eyes locked, Near could see Mello's anger rise another ten feet. It was as if his existence as angering Mello. Near never quite understood Mello. It was the one thing in his life that Near was always questioning. Mello was unpredictable; he was a puzzle to Near.

As observed many times, Mello's anger only seemed to rise around Near. Sure, Mello might snap at someone or be irritated at another orphan, but Mello's anger only shot out of the roof when he was around Near.

The only logical reason Near could think of was the fact that Mello was extremely competitive when it came to their grades. Mello's goal was to become number one, to succeed not only L but Near as well. Roger, the orphanage's caretaker, had suggested many times that Mello and Near should work together. Near wouldn't mind working beside Mello, but every time this was suggested, Mello would strongly object. It was as if he believed Near and Roger were trying to mock him in some way.

It was odd, really. Near had never really enjoyed the company of others, but Near enjoyed having Mello in the room. He enjoyed it even though Mello was usually spitting curse words at him, trying to harm him, or trying to destroy Near's puzzles and robots. Near's logic only told him that it was because Mello was another puzzle to solve. A puzzle Near couldn't seem to solve. Maybe that was why.

"Damn it, Near! Don't act like you don't know why I'm here!" Mello spat.

Near had a guess as to why Mello had stomped into the Common Room, looking for the albino. The grades were usually posted on Saturdays. They had taken a test earlier that week. Near had seen the grades, so he knew. As usual, Near had received a perfect score. Mello...had missed a perfect score by one point.

As the usual routine on Saturdays, Near knew this was where Mello tried to cut Near down mentally. This was quickly followed with Mello either punching him, kicking him, or trying to destroy Near's possessions. Sometimes the events were flipped. Even knowing what was about to happen, Near could do nothing to prevent it. Near knew that attempting to fend off Mello would be in vain, considering that Mello was much stronger than him.

"I know why you're here, Mello, but what do you think it'll achieve." Near asked, the usual monotone expression on his face.

Unfortunately for Near, Mello had interpreted Near's words in the wrong way. Near was meaning that he knew why Mello was there, but even if Near already knew, Mello would tell him anyway. However, Mello read this statement as a mock. A mock that Mello's presents wouldn't solve anything or achieve anything.

Although Near didn't mean this, it was true. Mello's violence wouldn't solve anything. It would only send the two of them to Roger's office again. Then again, Near couldn't see Mello any other way but aggressive.

"You don't know everything, Near!" Mello shouted.

With one swift movement, Mello kicked the puzzle Near had worked on. The blank, puzzle pieces broke apart and flew across the room. The sound of cardboard hitting against the tile floor echoed throughout the large room. Before Near could completely process what was happening, Mello grabbed him by the collar of his over sized, pajama shirt.

Near's eyes widened ever so slightly, but Mello didn't noticed. The albino didn't squirm or cry out once Mello grabbed a hold of him. Not showing any signs of fear made Mello furious. Near's silver eyes stared up at Mello, who's blond bangs were shadowing his eyes.

Pain shot through the left side of Near's face shortly after Mello's fist collided with the side of Near's head. Near roughly hit the floor of the Common Room. He lied there for a moment, mostly because his body was still in shock. Near didn't exactly have a liking to physical contact. It wasn't something that he enjoyed nor was use to.

Near pulled himself up so he was sitting in his usual position on the floor. He stared up at Mello, who was staring at the ground. Something seemed to be building up inside of him, troubling the blond. However, Near still couldn't read Mello's face due to his bangs still covering his face.

A mumble escaped Mello's mouth, "I hate you...."

Although the words themselves were meant to harm, Mello's tone was filled with more confusion than hate. Today was definitely different that most days. The fight seemed to be lighter than it usually was. Usually, the fights lasted until a teacher had to break it up or until Linda went to get Roger. However, today Mello seemed to stop the beating all on his own.

Near wondered what the cause of it could have been. Although like most days, Near couldn't figure out what the reason was behind Mello. There were several possibilities, but Near couldn't seem to narrow them down.

Actually, the last couple fights—or one-sided beatings—had been different. Near could tell there was something different about Mello, something Near couldn't decipher.

As Near was beginning to ponder the reasons behind Mello, a feminine voice echoed through the Common Room. Near looked over towards the Common Room doors to see a girl with pigtails standing there. She was glaring at Mello's back. Before racing out of the room to head to Roger's Office, Linda shouted, "Roger! Roger! Mello's hurting Near again!"

* * *

I'm sorry that this chapter was probably a little bland.

This chapter is more of an introductory chapter, so everyone knows what's currently going on.

This is daily life in Wammy's Orphanage as Near knows it.

The next chapter will be about Light & L and what is currently going on with them.

Review please~

:D


	3. Chapter 2: It's Finally Over, Right?

A/N: I finished the entire chapter in one day! I'm so proud of myself! XD WooT!

I'm so proud of myself! I worked hard on this chapter. 3

Okay, so this part has more of the original arc with Light & L. The only thing is that Light didn't turn out to be Kira in the end. Light remains innocent (I like him better that way. Lol. Darn Kira!). :]

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

Over. It was finally over. The Kira Case had come to an end. Four years of tension were finally over. Every member within the investigation team never felt more alive.

It had been a month since Kira had been brought to justice. The team had still been working after Kira was caught to make sure that the unruly killings had ceased. Affirming what L and Light thought originally after the catch, all signs of Kira had stopped.

"Today's the thirty-first day! All signs of Kira are still gone! We brought Kira to justice!" Matsuda loudly cheered the team's success.

Matsuda's voice echoed through the headquarters' room. For once, Matsuda wasn't scolded for his obnoxiously loud outburst. Everyone on the investigation team was thrilled that this life-or-death chase was over. Mogi's grin stretched from ear to ear, his white teeth shining in the florescent lights. Aizawa was popping off the cork to a fine wine bottle. Soichiro was sitting in a lounging chair, sipping on some coffee while a gentle smile could be seen on his lips.

Light smiled at everyone's excitement as he leaned forward in his chair, his chin resting in his palm as he went over some last minute files. Light, like everyone else, was thrilled that the Kira Case was over. He was probably more thrilled than most, considering that Light was a prime suspect in the investigation. Now, with Kira captured, Light's innocence was proved.

Light wondered if L was having trouble accepting defeat. Although L had given a seemingly pleasant apology, Light knew that L was trying to say that he still didn't trust Light. Only Light caught this, but that could be expected since Light and L both have high intelligence levels. They knew the real meaning of each others' words even when the rest of the squad didn't understand.

Light's golden-brown eyes peeked past his honey-brown bangs and over at the detective. L usually kept to himself, but today something seemed off. The light spirit had not reached L. Even for his personal defeat—the fact that Light had not been Kira—L still should not of had an unnerving aura. It didn't seem right for the detective.

_What could be wrong? Did L find some increases on the killings?_ Light mentally shook his head. _If L had found anymore evidence, he'd voice it._

Light's eyes continued to study the detective even after Light slipped into deep thought. L's wild, black hair stood up in many directions like it usually did. His hair naturally flowed this way. His obsidian bangs fell close to his dark, onyx eyes which stared at the monitor. He was thinking hard about something, which wasn't unusually since L was always thinking about something. However, no one other than Light would be able to notice that there had been a slight change in L these last couple of days.

Without looking over, L asked, "Is there something you need, Light?"

Light almost forgot how observant L was. He had also forgotten how long he had been staring. Light turned his head towards L, giving L his full attention.

Light gave a small, content smile before voicing his thoughts. "I couldn't help but notice, Ryuzaki, that you're not in with the celebrating spirit."

Light's eyes gestured over to the rest of the investigation team. L followed Light's gaze to see Aizawa in a joyous mood, different from his usual, serious self. He had one foot resting on the coffee table, elevating his leg. He had a wine glass raised above his head as he cracked jokes about past events that occurred while on the investigation. Mogi and Matsuda laughed with the man and added their own opinions and jokes. Even Soichiro, Light's father, was in a mirthful mood and was chuckling to himself.

L's gaze returned to Light. "Do you believe me to have a jolly attribute, Light?"

"It's not about being a jolly person. I'm just saying you don't seem to be glad about the outcome of this case." Light hinted the fact that part of the outcome of this case was Light's innocence. Light needed to know if it was that alone that was bothering L, although Light doubted it.

"I don't need to show my feelings towards the outcome of this case. I thought you would have known by now that I don't openly show my thoughts." L acted hurt before turning back to his monitor to continue working on whatever he had been doing previously.

"It wasn't criticism, L. It was only an observation."

Light gave a slight frown at L's response. L didn't necessarily say he was displeased with the outcome, but he also didn't say if he was pleased. The fact that he didn't say he was unhappy suggested that he could actually be happy about the outcome. The L that Light knew was blunt enough to say if he didn't like the outcome. However, the fact that he didn't say he was pleased told Light that something could be bothering the detective, he just didn't want to say what. There was definitely something wrong with this situation, and Light was determined to figure out what.

"Hey, Light!" Matsuda's voice brought Light out of his thoughts. "You should come join us! Ryuzaki too...if he wants to." Matsuda flashed the two of them a sheepish grin, wanting everyone on the team to celebrate. He kind of looked like a hopeful Labrador with that expression.

Light smiled. He almost laughed at the irony of Matsuda's request. After just talking to L about the joyous spirit, if Light declined Matsuda's offer, it would make Light, in a way, a hypocrite. Although, Light wouldn't have declined to begin with. He could use a glass of wine.

"Sure," Light accepted the offer. "I think we should all be celebrating with the capture of Kira."

Light rose out of his chair. Before walking over to where everyone was gathered, he turned towards L. "Would you care to join us, Ryuzaki?" Light offered but already knew the answer. If L accepted the offer, he himself would be a hypocrite.

Instead of glancing over at Light, L turned around to give Light his full attention. There was a glint in L's dark, coal eyes. Only Light and L picked up on the tension that fell inbetween the two of them. L wanted Light to know he still didn't trust him, even with the capture of Kira.

_Is he trying to tell me that this is why he's uneasy?_ Light wondered. _Or does this have something to do with the __celebration? Does he think I'm going to try to poison him or something along the lines of that?_

"Celebrate without me. I have a weak tolerance to alcohol, and I have some things I need to attend to." L said simply.

Light couldn't help but feel both frustrated and crestfallen. Frustrated because even after the Kira case, L still didn't completely trust him. Crestfallen because Light wanted this tension to go away. A part of him wanted to be good friends with L but knew it wouldn't happen if L couldn't trust him.

Matsuda replied with disappointment, "Okay but if you get finished, feel free to join us."

As Matsuda and Light walked over to the group, Mogi handed Light a wine glass. "Glad to have you join us!" Mogi's strong voice echoed as it usually did.

Light gave a pleasant, charming smile as he accepted the glass. Before he took the first sip of the mahogany liquid, Light rose his glass a bit and said, "Glad we're all able to finally have this kind of celebration."

"I'm glad I won't have to listen to another one of Matsuda's heroic speeches!" Aizawa teased.

"Hey! What was wrong with my speeches?!" Matsuda asked, obviously confused about what Aizawa meant.

Everyone besides Matsuda and L laughed warm-heartedly. Matsuda had been the center of some of their jokes, and the fact that Matsuda was clueless about it only added to the laughter. Matsuda wasn't the only one being poked fun at, however. Everyone was cracking jokes at everyone else.

"Do you remember when Aizawa had an afro?!" Matsuda grinned. "I kept thinking there was some kind of cat attacking his head!"

Everyone laughed again. Aizawa, surprisingly enough, didn't become irritated or furious. The man only went over and locked Matsuda in a headlock. It was definite that rejoice flowed in the air; everyone could see that. Yet, even as everyone began to crack jokes and poke fun, Light still pondered about what was bothering L.

***~*~*~*~***

It had been a couple of hours since the team relaxed and enjoyed themselves. It was starting to get late, and it was about time for everyone to return home. L had walked over to the rest of the group to say farewell to everyone.

"If another case comes up," L began to kindly explain to everyone, "I'll be sure to contact each of you to give you further details. For now, all of you should return to your daily lives and enjoy a relaxing time off."

"Thank you, Ryuzaki!" Matsuda beamed, still emanating happiness, if not just a little bit drunk.

Soichiro nodded in agreement. "Indeed. You take care of yourself, Ryuzaki. This should be a relaxing time for you as well."

L gave a short nod but gave no facial expression. "Your kindness is appreciated, Mr. Yagami."

L then returned to the computers as Mogi, Matsuda, and Aizawa walked out the door. Soichiro turned, ready to head out. He called over his shoulder, "Come on, Light. Let's head home."

Light's eyes trailed over to L, watching as he typed away on one of the keyboards. He seemed to be in the middle of something important.

_This tension...._ Light began to wonder. _He'd have no reason to be tense unless he was working and struggling on a case._ Light frowned. _But if L was working on a case, why would he not inform the rest of the investigation team about it? Is it because everyone finally got into a good spirit? If that was the case, L would have told everyone to come back in a week or month. He might lie to say that it was to double check on the Kira Case._

_What kind of case could he possibly be just want to keep to himself? Maybe a case that would only need one intelligent mind, but if that were the case, tension wouldn't be hanging so thickly in the air._

Light's golden-brown eyes stared over at the detective for a moment longer before turning his attention to his father. "Dad, how about you go ahead without me. I have something I need to discuss with L." Light lightly told Soichiro.

The man turned back around to face his son. There was a moment of silence between them as Soichiro glanced from Light to L and back to Light again. His eyebrows narrowed slightly, and his stance became more ridged.

"If he makes any more assumptions about you being Kira, I'll be sure to set him straight!" Soichiro hissed under his breath so only Light could hear him. "The real Kira was caught, and—!"

"Dad," Light stopped him in mid-sentence, "he won't accuse me of being Kira anymore." Light glanced over at L for a short second. "L's stubborn, but he knows how to admit defeat even if he doesn't show it."

Light gave Mr. Yagami a reassuring smile. Light knew he was stretching the truth just a little bit; Light didn't really think L would admit defeat. L was way too stubborn for that it seemed. Light's father looked skeptical but nodded. Light watched as Soichiro turned and left before Light walked over to L.

L sat in his usual position. His knees were up against his chest, and his bare feet were sitting comfortably on the blue material of the chair. Although he didn't turn around in his chair, he noticed Light approaching him, almost as if L expected it.

"Shouldn't you be heading home, Light?" L asked. "It it becoming late."

Now, with everyone else out of the room, Light could get straight to the point or at least try. It was usually L's job to be blunt and down-to-earth, but Light had to know what was going on.

"L, I know you're working on another case."

L turned to face Light. L's face was gravely serious. He remained silent but his expression told Light to continue.

"I thought _you_ would have known by now that I pick up on things like this." Light pressed, telling L he wouldn't drop the subject.

L didn't respond. His onyx eyes stared up at Light for a few moments longer before he turned his attention away. L stared off absently, which was quite unusual for the detective. Light could feel his heart pounding in his chest. _What is going on?_

"I am working on a case," L confirmed before turning his attention back to Light and finishing, "but this case is more of a personal case than last time. I won't be requiring a large investigation team like the Kira Case."

_So he was working on a case_. Light thought.

Light wondered why L told Light that he was working on a case. Was it because L knew Light would have figured out the truth anyway? Was this another one of L's many tests? It was likely to be this since L still didn't trust Light._ Was L thinking I would wonder if 'personal' meant dealing with L's real name and past? Isn't all of L's cases personal because he chooses the cases he wishes to work on?_

Light could feel frustration growing. Light was sure L meant that to be another test. Yet, L did seem different when saying that; it didn't sound or seem like an act.

Still, curiosity filled Light. He wished to aid the detective in this new case. Not just for seeing what the case was about but to also try to strengthen the trust between the two of them. Light still wanted to be good friends with the detective. There was something about the dark-eyed man that drew Light in. Something that Light couldn't place.

_If I word this correctly, I may be able to persuade him to let me assist him on this investigation._

"What about the aid of only one person?" Light began. "Even though you don't believe you'll be needing the entire team, a case is a case. Every case needs to be taken care of as quick and efficiently as possible. We both know that if I assist in the investigation the process will move quicker."

Light gave a small smile before adding, "Besides, I've grown use to working beside you. I feel that our friendship is gradually growing. I hope I am not the only one to notice and hope for this."

Light had to admit that the last part of his persuasion wasn't necessary. Light didn't need to share his thoughts with L on their friendship. That could be considered a more personal matter. Light guessed he had consumed more alcohol than he had first planned.

After taking the words in, L nodded slowly, trying to decide how to respond appropriately.

"Indeed, a case is a case," L slowly agreed. "The process would go at a better rate if you were to assist me." He shifted his weight before saying, "I guess it is only natural that I've grown use to your company."

Stated as it was, L wasn't disproving the fact that Light was currently his only friend, but L was affirming the fact that he didn't trust Light enough to consider this matter head on. For a moment, Light wondered if L would decline Light's offer. _Does L not trust me that much to where I cannot work on a case with him?_ Light questioned sadly.

Then, making his decision and giving Light a little bit of hope, L told him, "I believe it to be a good idea to have your assistance in this investigation."

* * *

Poor Light. L is having trust issues. x]

Just to let everyone know, I mapped out everything for this story. Hopefully it'll run more smoothly, now that I know what all is going to happen in each chapter.

Next chapter is going to be about Mello & Near again!

The introductory stuff is over with. Now the real fun shall begin. 3

I'll give each of you warm, fuzzy hugs if you review! :3

Thanks you guys! Love everyone who reads my stories~


	4. Chapter 3: Odd Stranger

A/N: Wow. I'm so surprised that I've updated so quickly on this story. I guess that's because it's the weekend, but still. x]

I hope to be able to get Chapter Four up soon, but I'll have to see because of school.

Hopefully I can get it up by Wednesday. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

A brown leaf flung itself against one of the bus windows. Near stared as the edges of the brown leaf flickered in the rushing wind as the vehicle moved. It was a Sunday. The orphans of Wammy's House had known this to be a privileged Sunday. Roger had gathered a group of students to take them to a certain store so each student could get something small. The top ten people were always able to go every other Sunday when Roger took them. The only reason they wouldn't be able to go was if they were being punished. The other ten students who were able to go were hand chosen by Roger based on good behavior and other factors.

Near usually didn't buy anything nor hang out with anyone on these privileged trips. However, when Near did get something, he'd usually choose to get a blueberry soda, since blue raspberry drinks were usually sour, and Near didn't usually care for those. If he didn't get a blueberry soda, then Near would get a pink lemonade. Today, Near was planning on getting a blueberry soda.

The albino boy sat at the front of the noisy bus. As usual, Near was sitting alone. He usually avoided sitting in the back because Mello and Matt always sat back there. They ran off anyone who tried to take their spots. Near had learned this the hard way, years ago. Near also didn't sit in the middle of the bus because the other children were rather rowdy as well.

"H-Hello, Near."

Near looked over to see Linda standing in the isle, gripping the seats so she wouldn't fall over in case the bus hit a bump. Her light brown hair was up in one, side ponytail. Her green eyes kept glancing up, hoping Roger wouldn't see she had gotten up from her seat and had moved through the bus.

Near gave a short nod of acknowledgment. Linda gave a shy, embarrassed smile before quietly asking, "Can I sit here?"

When Linda was chosen to go on the special, Sunday trips—which were usually to a small, convenience store—she would usually ask to sit beside him. Besides her, however, Near usually sat by himself.

"Yes," Near answered in an indifferent tone.

Again, Linda never bothered him. She was always considerate towards him, therefore Near didn't feel the need to reject her presence.

She became a bit red in the face before sitting next to him. Near could hear Linda's friends giggling and chattering a few rows back. Near drown out the noise as he lost himself in thought. He watched as buildings past by as Linda began to talk rather scatteredly.

Near faintly listened to the girl. She seemed to be complimenting him on his latest test scores. Once Mello's name was mentioned, Near listened more closely but continued to stare out the window.

"Congratulations on beating Mello again," Linda complimented with contempt for Mello. "I knew you'd still have the top grades."

Near felt his mind almost instantly disagree with Linda. Yes, Near had the top grades, but the term 'beating' wasn't the right observation. It had never been a competition between them—at least, not in Near's eyes. Near never wanted to be in a competition with the other children of Wammy's Orphanage, especially with not Mello. Yet, to much of Near's disliking, the hatred that Mello had for Near just couldn't seem to be avoidable.

Near wished the blond teen wouldn't hate him and that the perceived competition could stop. As much as Near would like this, at the same time, Near wasn't sure of himself. If this became true, the one-sided fights and cursing would stop—which pretty much summed up all contact he received from Mello. In theory, this seemed like something to be happy about, but Near couldn't help but think that 'happy' wasn't the correct word. Words like 'relieved', 'satisfied', and 'rejoice' didn't fit either. Near knew this was masochistic thinking, but he didn't know how to turn these thoughts neutral.

After realizing that he had lost himself in thought again, Near began to faintly listen to Linda once more. It sounded like she was rambling about her artwork and comparing it to her rival's, Sydney's, artwork.

"Sydney's said she was like going to get a perfect score on her sculpture project. I told her to stop being so s-stuck up! Okay, well...I-I wanted to, but...." Linda explained.

It usually went like this when Linda came on the trips. Linda would chatter away while Near stared out the window. Occasionally, Linda would ask for Near's opinion on something. As short as Near's responses came, Linda was just glad that Near was still listening.

Near stared up at the overcast, gray sky. Today seemed drearier than others. It was probably going to rain soon. Near wondered if Mello was going to be in a worse mood because of it. Near knew Mello hated rain because it kept him indoors, but since they were on a trip, Near wondered what the blond's attitude would be like.

_Mello...._ Near began in thought. _What could have been bothering him yesterday? He didn't seem like himself._

Since Near usually was the thing that bothered Mello, Near was unsure what it could have been. Guilt? Near doubted it. If guilt hadn't hit Mello years ago, it wouldn't suddenly hit him now. Yet, what else would have stopped the blond? What was distorting and trying to mask his hatred?

"All right, everyone," Roger's voice was sent throughout the bus. "Everyone can get one thing and only one thing."

Near awoke out of thought. He hadn't noticed that the bus had stopped. Roger went quickly over the rules as he usually did before everyone shuffled off the bus. Near followed more slowly.

"I'll talk to you later, Near," Linda told him before skipping over to her group of friends.

Near watched as everyone crossed the street and headed into one of the convenience stores of the old, gray town. The albino chose to sit on one of the benches at the bus stop. This was usual for Near to wait till almost everyone was done before heading in. Near was slightly claustrophobic and didn't want to be crammed in a small shop just so he could get a drink.

The temperature was warm, but the air had a chill to it. If it wasn't for the sun's ray poking out of the clouds then it would have been a lot cooler. Autumn was only a few days aways and soon it would become colder. Looking up at the sky, Near couldn't help but think that the dark clouds looked like they were gobbling up the sunlight.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Near glanced over. There wasn't any pedestrians crossing the intersection nor cars passing by. The small town was barren like it usually was.

Near turned his head around to see a man walking down the cracked sidewalk. The man's long, black coat hung loosely around his knees. He was wearing black slacks, which didn't match his mud caked, tennis shoes that were ruggedly worn down. His coat was open, relieving a faded red shirt. The man wore a black hat that had a black-and-red stripped belt around it. Even with the hat on, the man's greasy, black hair stuck out in many directions. Shielding his eyes were darkly tinted sunglasses that were faintly, dark purple.

The man clacked when he walked, not from his shoes but it sounded like metal clinking together. Near couldn't see if he was wearing anything on his hands or wrists since his hands were shoved into his coat pockets. The only other accessory he was wearing was a dull golden, pocket watch that hung around his neck.

The man stopped at the intersection, just a few feet away from Near. He leaned up against the stop sign and stared out at the empty road. Well, Near guessed this, since he was unsure of what the man was looking at due to his shades.

Although the man appeared to be a civilized, ordinary man, he held a dark eeriness to him. Curiosity filled Near but the albino remained quiet and directed his attention elsewhere.

"You're on of those orphans, are you not?"

Near gazed over at the man again. Obviously the man was addressing Near. Near took note of the man's voice at this point. His voice was hoarse and scratchy, not from sickness, but it seemed that it had a natural ruggedness. Yet, at the same time, there was power in his voice. His vocals drew Near's attention in. The meaning of his words told Near that he man was observant.

"Yes," Near replied offhandedly as Near's gray eyes wearily watched the stranger.

The man gave a sincere smile that looked a bit strange for some reason. "Don't get defensive now. I was just asking."

The man pulled out one of his hands from his coat pocket and shook his arm, the sleeve of his coat pulling back. Near now realized what the clanking noise was. On the man's wrist and arm were several watches. Some were golden in color, some silver, and some black. The man looked at one of the watches and then down the street. Near guessed he was waiting for the bus.

"I only thought it odd since all of the other orphans are in that store over there." The man continued to stare at his watches before looking over at Near. "Because if it were me, I'd be in there with them."

Near's eyes trailed over to the convenience store. None of the orphans or Roger had come out yet. It was only Near outside...and this man. Near's silence was the only response he gave to the man.

"You don't talk much do you, Cottonball?" The man paused to see if Near would reject the given nickname. When Near didn't say anything, the man sighed before continuing, "Look there's no roundabout way of saying this, so I might just go ahead and tell you."

Near raised an eyebrow for a moment and listened. What was this guy going to say? Why was he going to say it? What were his motives? Near was probably thinking too much about it, but Near was too use to thinking in a logical way to change his thinking patterns so suddenly.

"I should know...most about it since...I was once like you," the man seemed to be troubled by something. "I was quiet...observing..._different._"

Near wasn't sure why, but the word 'different' stuck out unusually. It made Near feel uneasy. _What is this about?_

The man was quiet for a moment. He dipped his head and became lost in thought. He gave an uneasy chuckle. "Different...Yeah...I'm still different...." He lost his composure for a moment before saying, "After all these years, I've come to realize that things don't ever change. I've come to realize," the man paused before finishing eerily,

"It is the different ones that always get shoved over the edge."

The aura around them harshly dropped. The atmosphere seemed colder now. The clouds had faintly gobbled the last of the sunlight, leaving the earth darker even though it was only around four o' clock. A feeling of misfortune filled Near's insides. _What is this?_ Near wondered. _Why do I feel this way?_

Feelings were always foreign to Near. He usually didn't have many emotions, but when he did, they usually weren't very extreme. Why was he feeling distressed by the man's words? Why did his voice sound so powerful yet eerie?

"It looks like the bus is coming. See you around, Cottonball...hopefully."

Near watched as the rickety bus rolled to the bus stop. The man didn't glance at him or give a nod for farewell before he loaded onto the bus.

Watching as the bus shook as it drove down the road, Near couldn't help but feel uneasy. The strong feeling of distress disappeared, but an unsettled feeling was still slinking through his insides. Near kept wondering what that was about, but more so than that, those words wouldn't stop echoing in his head.

'_It is the different ones that always get shoved over the edge'._

_

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_

Tehehe.

Masochistic Near.

C:

You gotta love it. Lol.

Please review! :3


	5. Chapter 4: Confusion And Pumpkin Pie

A/N: It's Wednesday, almost Thursday! WooT! I actually guessed right for once on my update! :D

I hope this chapter isn't horrible.

I think it came out all right. I was actually originally going to split this isn't two chapters, but I decided against it.

Hopefully the next update will come sometime this weekend. :]

Enjoy~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

The hot chocolate and coffee machine screeched through the shop as sizzling, hot chocolate poured into the cup that Mello was holding. His blue eyes watched as steam rose from the open cup. Watching this only made Mello's craving for the hot liquid intensify.

Mello could feel that his mind was distant and floating elsewhere. He was afraid to search for where his thoughts drifted off to. He was unsure if his mind was in a pleasant place or not. He didn't want to take the chance to find out.

Mello could feel himself drifting off as he watched the hot chocolate fill to the rim. The liquid almost spilled over, but Mello snapped back to reality in time to stop that from happening. To say the least, Mello was exhausted. He didn't get much sleep last night. Actually, he had not gotten much sleep in awhile. The long nights were filled with restlessness as his mind was filled with unwanted pictures....

Before putting the lid onto the cup, Mello rubbed his eyes. _Maybe I would have gotten a perfect score on that test if I hadn't been so tired._

Mello blamed his lack of sleep on the outcome of his test. That test that Near had beat him on. Just the thought of Near being number one made Mello's blood burn. Mello worked endlessly in his studies, and Near still managed to beat him. _I bet that son of a bitch doesn't even study. I bet he does it just to mock me._ Mello snarled in thought.

Near. That emotionless robot who didn't care about anything. He just does as he's told. _If Roger told Near to jump off a cliff, I bet Near would do it if he could find some logical way for it to trace back to him trying to succeed L._ Mello snorted at that thought.

The thought of Near burned into Mello's mind. The flame that never stopped burning. Hotter and hotter until Mello couldn't take it anymore. The type of pain that made a person's fingers and toes twist back in agony and make their necks so ridged that they could snap in half with a single tap. That wasn't even the worst part about it.

Mello turned around to see Matt over in the candy section. Walking towards him, Mello noticed that Matt was trying to decide between gummy worms or Twizzlers. The brown-haired teen with goggles resting on his head turned his head towards Mello. His green eyes widened slightly. "Wow. You're already done getting your hot chocolate? That was fast." Matt gave a sheepish chuckle before finishing, "I still can't decide on what to get."

Matt averted his gaze back down to the shelves. "Hmmm....Hey, Mel. Do you think I should get Twizzez or GW's?"

For a moment, Mello spaced off. His mind had drifted elsewhere again. Except, this time, Mello knew where his mind was. His thoughts had trailed off to the images that had played in his mind last night. A chill ran down Mello's back.

"Melz?"

Mello's gaze locked with Matt's green, puppy eyes. Matt tilted his head to the side and gave a confused, curious look. "You all right?"

Mello averted his gaze to his hot chocolate cup. He swirled the cup in a circle, feeling the liquid swoosh although he couldn't see it. He let out an inaudible sigh. The blond lifted his head and gazed about the small shop. He looked around to make sure that none of the other orphans were close enough to listen in on their conversation.

Mello's blue eyes gravely stared at Matt before Mello whispered, "It's getting worse...."

Matt's eyes narrowed for a moment in confusion. Slightly irritated, Mello narrowed his eyes at Matt. "Damn it, Matt!" Mello hissed quietly. "Don't make me spell it out for you!"

Once it finally clicked in his head, Matt's eyes widened. His mouth formed a semi-circle as he let out a quiet, "Oh. That." Matt shifted his weight uneasily and looked around. His eyes gazed about and fell back on Mello after not seeing any orphans that looked like they were eavesdropping. "How--?"

"Hush!" Mello hissed. "Roger's walking this way."

Matt turned back to the shelves of candy and acted like he was debating on what candy to choose. Mello turned slightly towards the shelves of candy, appearing as if he was observing Matt and possibly trying to help. Mello's eyes lingered over Roger, watching as the caretaker walked from one side of the shop to the other.

Once Roger was out of range, Matt turned back to Mello and asked quietly, "So how bad has it gotten?"

Mello retorted dryly, "Well, it hasn't exactly been a pack of Twizzlers and gummy worms."

Matt lightly chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure that's true." Matt turned his head towards the candy. Changing the subject, Matt asked, "Mel, which one do you think I should get?"

Mello glanced from the pack of red Twizzlers to the pack of assorted gummy worms. Mello then raised his gaze up to Matt before pointing to and suggesting, "Gummy worms."

"GW's today it is!" Matt beamed as he grabbed the package. Mello was sure that Matt was going to rip open the package and slurp down the gummy candies. However, Matt restrained himself.

Matt lifted an eyebrow at Mello before slyly asking, "What did you make on your test? I missed two questions."

A look of anger and frustration crossed Mello's face. His eyebrows pressed roughly against his eyelid, and he became ridged. "What do you think?" Mello snapped. "_Near_ beat me again by one question." Mello spat the name as if it were tainted.

"Oh." Matt's voice dropped for the second time in the past ten minutes. "Did you two get sent to Roger's Office?"

Mello slowly nodded. "Yeah." Mello shrugged. "Roger let me come here anyway. It wasn't bad like other times."

Matt nodded. "All right." Matt shifted his weight before trying to press the matter, "So you beat him up because he got a better score on a test than you did?" Matt knew that he wasn't suppose to bring up the subject without having Mello's anger spark, but he felt braver today. He wanted to try to get a point across. Well, he would try anyway. Before Mello could respond, Matt asked seriously, "Why do you hate him?"

_That_ was the worst part about it all.

Mello could feel his insides shaking with frustration. He wasn't sure if he had a solid answer as to why he hated Near. After so many years, the reason behind the hate had been covered up. For so many years, the reason kept getting covered until it was lost within the sea of events.

He envied Near's intelligence. He was angered by the fact that Near breathed the same air as him. He was frustrated with Near's unemotional and seemingly uncaring attributes. He hated Near's snow-colored skin that looked so smooth. He hated Near's soft curls that elegantly curled on his head. He hated Near's silver eyes that drew him in like the silver wrapping of a chocolate bar. He hated how the light made Near softly glow. He hated Near's gentle calmness like that of a lamb. Mello hated Near...._I hate him...._ Mello told himself in thought. He repeated the words over and over as if they were something to memorize....

When Mello didn't answer Matt's question, Matt suggested helpfully, "Mello, maybe...maybe you need to clear your head." Matt gave a sheepish grin. "It could help. Maybe you're just thinking with the _other_ part of your mind instead of the right part...."

_Clear my mind? ...Maybe._ Mello shook his head, not wanting to address the subject. He was about to walk towards the counter when the ringing of the shop door's bell sounded through the shop. Mello's blue eyes trailed over to the door to see the albino walk in. Mello's eyes narrowed at Near. Time slowed as Mello passed by him. The two of them locked eyes. Mello's icy shards cut into Near's gray mist. All thoughts of needing to clear his mind left Mello as the blond's emotions fell to habit. He didn't need to clear his mind. Mello scorned Near....Didn't he?

***~*~*~*~***

Light sighed. _I visit my mother and sister for a couple of hours, and my mom goes and bakes a cake for me before I leave. She really goes way too over the top sometimes._ Light thought as he walked into headquarters with a pumpkin pie in one hand.

Light didn't even have much of a sweet tooth, but even though his mother knew that, she baked him a pie anyway. She said it was not a big deal because she was going to be entering in a cake contest and needed the practice. Light knew she was just using that as an excuse so she could go out of her way to do something for him.

His footsteps echoed through the large headquarters as he made his way towards the main computers where L was currently. At the sound of footsteps—or the smell of the sweet pastry—L turned his head. Light gave a nod of greeting while saying, "Good evening, Ryuzaki."

Light observed that L's onyx eyes were fixed on the pumpkin pie. The strange thing about it wasn't that he had a look of hunger but that he had a look of dislike. His facial expression didn't change in the slightest. His facial expression remained rational and observant, but Light could see the change in L's eyes. _I thought he liked _all_ sweets....That's strange._

"Evening," L greeted shortly before turning back to his computer.

Light sat in the seat beside the detective, ready do crunch in some work that night. It had only been a couple of days that Light had began to aid L on this case, and Light was already getting a bad feeling about it. It wasn't that he felt uneasy working beside L on the case. The fact of the matter was that Light felt that there was something odd about this investigation. It just didn't seem right. The case that Light was aiding L on seemed too...simple for L to take interest in.

Sure, almost all cases had some kind of death or deaths occurring, and then a mystery behind it that needed to be solved. That was the basis of more than ninety percent of the cases. It was just that this certain investigation that L had taken a part in didn't seem right. It wasn't that the information was conflicting. The information on the case wasn't even strange or bizarre. That was just it.

The case seemed simple.

"I did not think Light had a liking to sweets," L commented. Light turned his head slightly to see that L was still eying the pie Light had set on the desk. Light's golden-brown eyes trailed over to the dessert for a moment. _Does L want some of the pie?_ Light wondered. He was sure that had to be it. L wasn't currently consuming any sweets, and Light was sure the detective was becoming sugar _deprived_ already.

Light gave a small chuckle. "I don't. I visited my mother before I came here. She insisted that I take the pie. I didn't have a say in the matter." Light took the opportunity to ask, "Would you like some? It'll just go to waste if you don't, since I'm not going to eat much of it."

Suddenly, Light noted that L's eyes looked light deprived. It was as if the lamp in the room and the light from the computers couldn't reach his dark voids. Those eyes froze Light in his chair. There was something about those eyes that seemed so filled with strong emotion, although he had an indifferent expression shown his face. What had Light said that the detective disliked? Did L even realize that Light had picked up on L's disliking?

"I don't like pumpkin pie."

Was L putting emphasis in the word 'don't'? Did L stumble over the word pumpkin pie as if he'd never said the word before? _It must be my imagination...._ Light stared at L with confusion. Light gave a hesitant nod of acknowledgment to L's words. "And I thought you liked all sweets," Light pressed.

L turned back to his computer but peeked over at Light through the corner of his eyes. "If I said I don't like pumpkin pie, then it should be obvious that I don't like all sweets." L stated rather icily before turning his attention back to the computer.

Light's eyes widened, taken back. He had not seen L act so emotionally. Well, to anyone else, it wouldn't seem like much, but since it was Light, it seemed like a lot. Through all the years that Light had known and worked beside him, Light had never seen L get defense towards anything. The only exception to that rule was when Light had to keep telling him that Light wasn't Kira. Sure, it was expected that L would strongly push a point but never be defensive and never be defensive over a matter such as pumpkin pie.

_Is it stress?_ Light wondered. _Does L even _feel_ stress?_ Light wasn't sure about that one. If L did feel stress, he sure did a heck of a good job at balancing it and keeping it under control. Light didn't believe himself to do well under large amounts of stress.

Still confused and curious, Light turned back towards his own computer screen. He glanced down at the pumpkin pie, knowing that he'd probably have to toss it soon. After staring for a couple of minutes, Light silently decided: _I'll have to ask L about that some time...._

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I love hearing from you guys!

Each review is very loved~

:3


	6. Chapter 5: Shunned

A/N: I updated this chapter slower than I thought I would. Sorry about that. X3

But just to make up for that, this is the longest chapter so far! :D

Love me~

lol

I'm probably not going to be able to get another update this weekend, but I'll try my best to get it updated by next weekend. Enjoy everyone~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

Rain tapped on the windows of the Common Room. It was as if the rain was asking for permission to enter. The wind gazed the side of the building as the rain began to fall from the cloudy sky. As dreary as it was becoming outside, some of the orphans desired to run about and get soaked. Against the rules of the orphanage, a small group of children had sneaked out of the building to leap about in mud puddles.

Within the unwelcoming silence, Near sat in the Common Room as he usually did on Saturdays. He had no desire to sneak out into the rain. He didn't want to get soaked, nor did he want to go against the school rules. It was unnecessary. Within the Common Room, a dark feeling latched itself onto the heavy air. The thickness of the air wasn't suffocating Near, but it made him uncomfortable.

Near frowned as he felt his movements grow slower and more questioning than usual. His vision became distorted. A bit of confusion flowed through Near as he found himself not unable to figure out where the puzzle pieces went, but questioning why those pieces went there.

Questioning....That was new.

Each question seemed to lead to another question. Why did that puzzle piece fit with the other? The reason was because of the shape of the two puzzle pieces. Then why were they shaped that way? Why were they built in that way? Why were they made with cardboard and not of metal or wood? Did the material have some kind of symbolic meaning? Did the puzzle itself have some underlying meaning behind it? Near shook his head, confused by his own thinking.

Why question something that didn't need to be questioned. Nothing really needed to be questioned on an emotional level in Near's opinion. Near was use to everything being thought rationally. His logical mind would tell him that a puzzle was used as a form of entertainment and nothing more. Yet, why did his movements feel so illogical?

Near clicked another puzzle piece together. After withdrawing his pale hand, his gray eyes roamed over the puzzle as if he never saw it before. His eyes examined every edge, every corner, every groove, and every detail. His gaze fell to his hands, roaming over the details of his fingers. He lifted one of his hands and began to twirl his white locks with one of his fingers as he began to think. Inwardly, Near shook his head in disagreement with himself. He returned to clicking the puzzle pieces back in their rightful places. He went back to the logical side of his mind, disliking the other, foreign part that had rose up for a moment.

Near continued to twirl his winter locks with his finger, finding comfort in it. The albino could hear footsteps echoing through the hallway and entering the Common Room. The echoing of footsteps grew closer and closer, but Near didn't think much about it. He knew it was the group of boys that had sneaked outside into the rain. Near could hear the boys' wet, muddy shoes as they splattered against the tile floor of the orphanage. For a moment, Near wondered if the boys would clean the mud up before Roger or another teacher caught them. Near, however, didn't really start to pay attention to them until his name was said.

"Dave," one of the boys quickly pressed in a high pitched voice, "Someone could hear you! You know Near is just in the Common Room. It echoes in here."

The orphan named Dave only snorted. "Quit being so jumpy, Craig. It's _just Near_. That kid isn't going to say anything even if he did hear us. He won't tell Roger."

Another voice entered the conversation. "Are you sure? He is number—."

"Number one." Dave finished plainly. "Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. That doesn't mean _anything._ So what that he's number one? _I_ could be number one, Tony."

"Then why aren't you number one?" Tony teased. Near heard Craig laughing.

"Hey! I'm just waiting for the right moment to take the position! It could be these next tests coming up!" Tony fumed, his pride hurt. "You wait and see!"

As the three orphans passed by the Common Room, Near peeked over at them without moving his head. Tony had turned his head to peer directly inside the Common Room. The adolescent's eyes glared into Near's even, gray eyes. Hate easily shined in those eyes. Although this scornful gaze didn't even compare to Mello's malice, it made a chill crawl up Near's spine.

The glare seemed to last for an hour's time, even though only a few seconds pasted when the three boys walked by. When the glare disappeared, the chill remained. Near rolled his shoulders, wanting the uneasy feeling to vanish. _Why does that bother me so much?_

It wasn't unusual for Near to receive sneers of disgust, an uneasy smile or chuckle, an awkward wave, or some sort of gesture. Near usually received gestures instead of a simple hi or greeting. Most of the children besides Linda, Mello, and occasionally Matt, never spoke a word to Near throughout the day. They all tried their best to avoid the gray-eyed teen if possible.

So why now? Why did a simple glare bother Near the way it did? He should be use to it by now, especially thanks to Mello. Is it because it wasn't Mello? Was it because it was a random student at the orphanage? Was it because it was someone Near wasn't familiar with?....Or was it because Near was recognized as different?

_'It is the different ones that always get shoved over the edge.'_

Near wrapped his arms around his chest. His fingers curled around his sleeved arm tightly. His fingers tugged at the white material thoughtlessly. A cold wave washed over the teen. Why does that suddenly affect him now? Why didn't it affect him years ago? _It's because I'm just now noticing...._ Near told himself knowingly. A sad expression crossed over his face before he thought: _It's because I'm now starting to care...._

The fact that Near tried to avoid so may times over again began to slink to the front of his mind. The fact that Near didn't want to admit cruelly whispered in his ears. It was like a haunting, childhood memory that wouldn't rest. The truth of reality playing itself over like a broken record.

The fact that Near was _human_ made Near feel something he hadn't felt in awhile. Fear. Near knew he held emotions and feelings as every other living being did. Although he found it easier to avoid these foreign feelings, they still existed. As much as Near tried to hide them or push them away, they would always be there.

Did Near use to care about different subjects as what others thought about him? Perhaps not. Did he care about it now? He wasn't sure.

Staring down at his unfinished puzzle, Near's mind blurred. Everything familiar disappeared. The familiar puzzle pieces became strange, oddly shaped figures. Near reached down and brushed his fingertips over one of the non congruent pieces. After only a moment of feeling the uneven piece, Near paused. His gray eyes roamed over his fingers. This out of body feeling made Near's insides crawl. He could not recall a time when he felt this way. Everything felt _foreign _and_ strange._

Near shook his head, trying to relieve himself of the new stresses coming upon him. _I'm not in the mood for puzzles._ He decided as he began to pack up the puzzle pieces. Hurriedly, he tried his best to not damage the pieces, but Near worried more about his sanity than the puzzle.

After wrapping it up, Near walked across the Common Room to the shelves on the side of the room, opposite from the large piano that rested within the room. Near gently placed the box in its usual space on the shelf. He took a few steps back, possibly too quickly since his nearly lost his balance. Near silently reminded himself that he was wearing socks, and that he currently stood on a tiled floor.

While walking out of the Common Room, Near concentrated on each step he took. It wasn't that Near tried to remain balanced. That was part of it, but it was not the main reason Near concentrated on his strides. Mostly, Near wanted to get his mind off of the previous subject and onto something else.

He watched as his white socked feet slipped over the wooden floor of the orphanage's hallways. Near's attention remained down, his head tilted slightly to where his white curls fell into his face and over his eyes. He did not look up, nor did he plan to. He didn't care where he was going. _I just...need to take a walk._

After several minutes pasted, Near dared peer about his surroundings. He found himself within one of the hallways in the school wing of the orphanage. As unusual as it was to be within the school wing of the building on a Saturday, Near could hear voices chattering. He couldn't recognize who they belonged to, or what they were saying. Curiously, he continued to move through the hallway, becoming closer to where the voices were coming from.

"I don't understand why we're here," One snobby, feminine voice spoke. Near continued to listen. "I mean, I like L and all, but everyone here is just so stuck up about tests and their scores, don't you girls think so?"

Two other feminine voices agreed in unison. One feminine voice awkwardly agreed. Near recognized that voice. He peered inside one of the classroom door windows.

It was the art room. Three girls crowded around an art table. One of the girls sat uneasily in one of the chairs, trying to shield her artwork from the other three. That girl with the trademark ponytails and butterfly clips was Linda.

The tallest girl in the bunch placed her hands on her waist. Her long, red hair fell to the middle of her back. An excessive amount of makeup cluttered her face. Her copper-colored eyes narrowed slightly towards Linda. The girl wrinkled up her nose for a moment before smirking. She leaned forward, and placed a hand on the table.

"I mean, the top three people are like the worst guys I know. Matt's a complete lazy slob. Mello's so rude. Near—."

She paused, deepening her smirk. "And _Near_ thinks he's better than like all of us. He thinks that being antisocial can prove that he's just _that_ much better than all of us." She gazed about the other girls before asking, "Isn't that right?"

Near shifted his weight. What the girl said struck Near the wrong way. He didn't really believe that he was _better_ than all of them. He was intelligent, yes, but intelligence wasn't one thing that said who was better than who. It was similar to comparing runners. The fastest one wasn't always considered the best. There was also the most endurable, the well-paced, the most hardworking, and others. They each held a talent that was seen as useful and great. There wasn't a best among them. That's how Near thought of it anyway, and he most certainly didn't think of himself as _better_ than any orphan at the orphanage because of his intelligence and scores. Others didn't quite think the same way, however.

"Right, Sydney!"

"I totally agree with you."

There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch out longer. Near felt his heart beating heavily in his chest as all three of the girls stared intensely at Linda, who only peeked up at them. Near wasn't sure why he felt on the edge at that moment. Why was he eavesdropping on them anyway? Near shook his head and moved away from the door. He turned, ready to continue walking on his way.

"Right. Right....Near thinks he's better than all of us."

His heart skipped a beat. He froze. Rigidly, he turned his head back around, his gray eyes peering into the art room. Sure enough, Linda spoke those words. She agreed with Sydney. Linda, the person who always showed Near compassion and kindness, _agreed_ with Sydney, the girl who hated everyone, especially Matt, Mello, and Near.

_Why should I care?_ He tried to defend his hurt self. _Why would I care about if someone or anyone likes or dislikes me? I don't care...._ Near felt something twist inside of him. Whatever it was, Near wanted it to stop. The twisting became unnerving and painful.

Slower this time, Near turned away from them room. He dragged his feet across the hallway floor as he stumbled limply down the wide hallway. He could have sworn he heard a door open and his name being called, but he ignored it and turned the corner, beginning to walk down another hallway of the large orphanage while thinking: _I do care...._

*~*~*~*~*

With a freshly unwrapped, chocolate bar in hand, Mello existed the room he shared with Matt. He paused in the hallway outside his door for a moment, debating whether he should venture out or not. He brought the chocolate bar up to his mouth and chomped off a large sized piece hungrily. Savoring the rich, chocolaty taste of the candy, Mello began to walk down the hall.

Some of the orphans' doors were open; some of them were reading, some friendly chatting, some watching television, or doing other activities. Mello came to the end of the hallway. He stood at the top of the large staircase that wrapped its way down to the lower level of Wammy's Orphanage. The golden color of the stair's railing cast a dark glow. Since the main lights that came off from the chandelier were on, the white of the stairs appeared white instead of gray.

Casually, Mello descended down the wrapping staircase and stepped onto the white marble floor. On this Saturday afternoon, Mello didn't have anything in particular that he needed to do. His homework and studies had been finished yesterday, leaving the rest of the weekend open for anything he so chose to do.

Matt, like he usually did on the weekends, was up within their room playing video games nonstop. The current rumors said that Roger was going to take some people to go to the city's center for a special treat. Mello was sure Matt was eagerly waiting for that, hoping that he'd be able to choose a new video game.

Mello wasn't quite sure how his best friend was able to sit in front of a television or hand-held game screen for hours at a time without blinking or getting cramps from sitting so long. Mello admitted that he liked video games, but not nearly to the extent as Matt. Mello usually preferred soccer or kickball over video games; he preferred to be outside.

Although Mello wasn't sure where he should go that afternoon, he took extra special care to avoid going past Roger's office. The caretaker would _surely_ find some reason to give Mello a punishment as soon as he saw the blond teen. _He's out to get me, I swear it._

Walking down one of the hallways, he paused in the Common Room's entrance. After taking another bite of chocolate, he frowned. Mello turned to gaze directly inside the large, open room. The doors were widely opened as they usually were throughout most of the day. Everything inside, such as the piano and shelves, were still in their usual spots, yet there was something different about the room that afternoon.

It was empty.

_Where did Near run off to?_ Mello wondered. The gray-eyed teen usually sat in the middle of the Common Room during the afternoon to work on his puzzles. Mello knew Near wouldn't head outside of the orphanage without a reason to, so the possibilities of him being outdoors were slim, especially since it was pouring outside. Mello doubted that Near would venture up to his room this early in the day, but Mello wasn't sure. _I don't believe he was in Roger's office. I didn't look, but...._

Mello shook his head and ate the last piece of his chocolate bar. _Why do I care where Near is anyway?_ Mello crumpled up the wrapper of the candy and tossed it into the trash bin within the Common Room. He turned and walked out of the Common Room and continued to walk down the hallway, heading towards the back doors of the orphanage.

Matt's words echoed through Mello's head. _'Mello, maybe you need to clear your head'. _Mello frowned at the words. _Clear my head? Of what? Matt didn't directly say _what_ I need to clear my head of. He did hint Near though._

At the very thought of Near, Mello's nose scrunched up and his icy blue eyes narrowed. _Near._ That white-haired, gray-eyed albino teen made every blood cell in Mello's skin boil as if it where being broiled under the summer sun. No mattered how hard Mello studied or how long, Near _always_ came out on top. Near would _always_ get a perfect score, and Mello would miss perfection by one mark. It didn't matter the circumstances, the outcome remained the same.

"Well, Matt," Mello said to himself, "I'll try out your suggestion."

Mello's mind rolled over the memories of last weekend, replaying his and Matt's conversation. Mello sighed. As insecure and wrong as it sounded, it was the truth. Mello had beat—Well, that day it would be considered punched—Near in face all because Near had received a better test score than Mello. _It's easy as to my reason for doing that._ Mello told himself. _The only thing is why? Why did I do it?_ Mello snorted and shook his head. _Because I'm 'just an immature boy who likes to pick on others littler than him'. _Mello couldn't suppress his laugh at remembering Linda's angered words.

However, Mello would be the first to object to the word immature. He was impulsive, yes, but definitely _not_ immature. Mello knew he ran by strong, various emotions—that were sometimes unclear and misplaced—and it wasn't something he'd lightly admit to. It was one reason why Near would always be _better_ than Mello. Near never showed _any humanly_ emotions, ever. That robotic teen remained logical and observant. Sure, Mello was observant too, but remained more emotional than logical. Mello wasn't going to change that; he wasn't going to suddenly alter himself because of _him_. Near did _not_ have that kind of power of him!

Mello paused in the doorway of the Wammy's courtyard. He stared blankly pasted the soaked playing fields of the courtyard and stared at the woods. Due to the pouring of rain, the woods appeared darker and eerier than usual. He frowned and tightened one of his hands into a fist. _Why do I hate Near? Do I really hate him over grades?_

Remembering back to when Near first arrived at the orphanage, Mello and Matt got along fairly decently. They all had their differences back then as well, but they were okay with that. The continued throughout the ordinary days. Mello and Matt only continued to grow closer together in friendship. Matt almost could be described as a brotherly figure to Near; he often playful teased him. Even back then, Mello and Near's conversations were simple, but one thing they were then that they weren't now was relaxed. Simple and relaxed.

Mello wouldn't dare admit this, but he _enjoyed_ the relaxed aura that they shared in the past. Near would work quietly on his puzzles in the Common Room, and Mello would lean against the back wall and stared out the large windows of the Common Room while nibbling on a chocolate bar. Their conversation topics would vary a great distance, but the feeling of them remained the same.

After Roger finally sat down and talked to everyone about grades and L that one Wednesday in December, everything changed. Mello and Near's relationship took a turn for the worse. Mello remembered that there was a gradual change. No, it was a sudden shift. Mello would say that they'd be rivals because there can only be one L, but Mello knew the real truth of the past. Mello knew the _real_ reason why their friendship had stopped. It wasn't something Mello would admit—not even to Matt and not even to L.

_It's not true now, though._ Mello told himself abruptly. _The reason has changed; it's only about grades now._ Mello told himself as he pulled open one of the double, glass doors and ventured outside. Mello didn't particularly want to get wet, so he stayed beside the walls of the orphanage as he walked down the muddy path. He took a mental note that he'd have to clean his shoes before walking back inside. Walking down the path, Mello sighed. _Trying to clear my head only made my mind more cluttered._

_

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8D

I'm so proud at how long this chapter is!

Finally I wrote a longer chapter for you guys!

Hopefully the rest of them while be longer like this, but we'll have to see.

Hahaha. Yes! I added a Dane Cook spin off if you caught it.

Back in the day is ALWAYS a Wednesday.

;D

Please review~


	7. Chapter 6: Losing Control

A/N: Awww! It looks like I'm about four days off schedule.

Sorry I couldn't finish this chapter by last weekend!

It took me so long to finish writing this chapter! o.o

It's not that it's even that long. I just kept blanking out through it at some points...even though I knew what was going to happen. Lol.

Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy this one. :]

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

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A privileged Saturday came about again. Although many students of Wammy's House believed Roger was going to take them to the city center to get a special treat, it wasn't true. As the usual privileged Saturday, Roger took twenty students to the convenience stores. Also as usual, Near, Mello, and Matt rode on the bus again. Near sat in usual spot in the front, Mello and Matt sat in the very back. Linda also attended this trip. She, however, wasn't sitting with Near this time; she sat with her own group of friends.

It had been a week since Linda spoke to Near. Ever since the incident in the art room, neither of them spoke to one another. Although Linda didn't suddenly start hanging out with Sydney—she still hated the girl, Linda stopped coming by the Common Room to share friendly, small talk with Near. It was an odd change for Near. Since two similar events happened that last Saturday, Near felt uneasy about Linda not talking to him anymore. First a random orphan cut Near down, and then Linda said she disliked Near. Near wasn't sure why this made him feel so misplaced, but it did. It made him feel maybe even a bit isolated.

Near's gray eyes stared blankly out the window as the bus continued to roll over the bumps and grooves of the road. Once again Near tried his best to tune out the noises that erupted harshly through the bus and out the windows. The teen could feel Linda's eyes on him, but he didn't make a single attempt to turn around to face her or even glance at the girl. Oddly, Near saw Mello out of the corner of his eye glancing at him every so often. Occasionally, Near would gaze over in Mello's direction, catching the blond teen in the act. As soon as their eyes connected for a split second, Mello would either avert his gaze, trying to make it look like Mello was staring past Near or glare at Near before averting his gaze. Near thought nothing of it. Mello was being Mello as always.

After feeling someone sit down in the empty seat beside him, Near glanced over at the approacher for a moment. It was Linda. She wore an uneasy expression as she awkwardly played with her fingers, a nervous habit. She readjusted the purple clips in her hair as she shifted her weight. Near could feel Linda shoot him awkward glances, but he didn't turn his attention away from the window. He only waited for Linda to say whatever it was that she needed to say. He had the feeling it was going to pertain to the incident that happened last week.

"N-Near?" She started clumsily as if she still wasn't sure what to say. Respectfully, Near turned his head towards Linda. However, Near only gave Linda half of his attention. He really didn't want to hear what Linda had to say, but he figured that if he listened, it would move the conversation quicker.

"I didn't mean what I said!" The outburst woke Near out of his drifting thoughts. "She made me say it! I didn't have a choice! It's all her fault! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!"

Linda's breathing hitched and her chest moved shakily in and out as she gulped down the air around her. Linda dipped her head down dramatically, her brown bangs covering her face. Although Linda shielded her face, Near guessed Linda was holding back some tears. However, Near was unaffected by Linda's words; those words that somehow felt empty. His face remained emotionless as his voice stayed monotone.

"You should not blame others for your own actions, Linda," Near told her plainly. He reached up and began to twirl one of his white locks of hair. Linda expected Near to say something else, but nothing came.

Linda looked up, wanting Near to say more. Near noted that Linda had not been crying, she only averted her gaze from him. It was as if she were hiding something. _Shame? Guilt?_ Near's gaze suddenly gazed over at Linda's group of friends. Some gave her glares, some blank stares. They all whispered among themselves. Linda appeared to notice them too. She suddenly regained her posture and shook away the sorrowful, apologetic appearance._ Embarrassment and secrecy. She was showing a false sympathy._

When Near didn't say anything more, he watched as Linda got up from her seat and walked back over to her group of friends. She gazed about cautiously, almost as if she were afraid someone specific would notice her moving across the bus from Near's seat. Near knew this time she was not looking around for Roger. All this time, she was trying to make sure that Sydney and Sydney's friends didn't see her. Even though Linda claimed to be rivals with Sydney, Linda cared what Sydney thought about her.

_She's been giving an untrue friendship all along._ Near told himself. _She appears to be acting with her friends and acting with Sydney. Her actions speak louder than her words. If she can act around them, she can act around me._ Near continued to twirl his hair and turned his attention back out the window. For a moment, Near was glad he and Mello weren't of the female population. If female rivals acted like that, he didn't want to get caught in the middle of it or be a part of it. _It's foolish to act like something your not._

All thoughts of Linda left his mind as the bus rolled to a stop. Although Roger told everyone to exit the bus in a formal line, students quickly left their seats and hurried the others off the bus in an anxious manner. Once Near stepped off the bus, he watched as Linda walked passed him without a word or a single glance. He expected that much. Mello, however, gave him a short glare before roughly pushing past him.

Near stood on the curb and watched as the others shuffled into the convenience stores that Roger allowed them to go into. Near turned and walked over to the familiar, wooden bench. Sitting down, Near couldn't help but think it felt strangely colder. Even though autumn already swept through Great Britain, Near felt strangely colder than usual while sitting on the bench alone. The long sleeves of his white pajama shirt hardly did justice. Near pulled at the cuffs of the sleeves, almost hoping that pulling on it would suddenly make the thin material thicker and warmer.

"You're still here, I see."

Near didn't have to look up to know who it was; he recognized the voice instantly. It was the same scratchy, rugged voice from the man who wore about five too many watches on each arm. Near glanced up, proving his thoughts. The man wore the same attire he wore the last time Near saw him. This time the man's coat was zipped all the way up, his collar popped up so that it covered his neck and a bit of his face. His eyes were still covered by the darkly tinted sunglasses.

"And you're still the outsider," The man finished quietly with a soft sadness. The man turned his attention over to the stores and shops that the orphans raced into moments ago. He stuffed his hands into his pockets before whispering the comment, "I could not help but notice you left alone today. Having trouble with them it seems."

The man spoke the last sentence as more of a statement than a question. Near stared off in the same direction. "I leave alone most days."

"Oh yes....I forgot."

The strange silence between them started to get to Near's comfort zone. His gray eyes glanced up at the man who stood on the corner of the intersection, waiting for the bus again it appeared. His fingers played with the cuffs of his sleeves as he asked cautiously, "What did you mean exactly...when you meant 'different ones'. What is your clarification on different?"

In an even tone the man asked, "Do you believe yourself to be the same as everyone else?"

"I believe that everyone has their differences."

Causing Near's insides to flinch, a cackle rolled out of the man's throat. After his cackle died down to a light snicker, Near could feel the man's eyes on him, even though they were shielded by the shades. A dark smirk crawled onto his face as the man asked carelessly, "How poetic. Did you come up with that yourself? Do you _honestly_ think that everyone can get along perfectly fine being just the way they are. I'm sure you can think of some people who are more different than others—people that stand out drastically. Now tell me do you believe yourself to be the same as those orphans in there?"

Near only blinked up at him, unable to form words for a moment. Near looked back at the stores that were littered with orphans running around trying to find something for themselves. Remaining silent, Near didn't turn his head again to gaze up at the man beside him.

The man frowned before moving his sleeve down to gaze at his watches. "Your silence has not gone unnoticed. I'll take it as affirmation, Cottonball. Do you disagree with my observations?"

Again Near remained silent and stared off into the distance. The man gazed over at Near again. He gave a slight smirk before staring blankly off down the road. Only when Near spoke again did the man turn his attention back to the orphan.

"What do you mean by being shoved over the edge? Were you saying it as a metaphor or...in the literal sense?" Near asked carefully. At this point, Near turned his full attention to the man, awaiting his answer. Near's gray eyes stared up at the man, watching his movements cautiously and observantly.

The man gave a short chuckle. "It could be in the literal sense, I guess. It all depends on what situation you're in." He paused before adding, "If you must know directly what I meant, I'll tell you." With the last sentence dripped in vague despair, the man finished, "I meant death."

For a moment, a bit of fear flickered in Near's eyes like a dying flame in the wind. The instant the words were spoken, Near felt himself floating outside of his body. It was the same feeling as he felt in the orphanage when he was doing his puzzle in the Common Room. Near felt unlike himself again. Fear struck Near's heart once he saw himself from the outside looking in. He saw something he disliked.

Before he could identify what caused Near such fear and dislike, he felt himself come back to his regular state of mind. Near regained his posture before asking slowly, "How come death hasn't come to you then?"

The man gave a short sigh and tilted his head down. "I was one of the lucky and unlucky ones. Instead of embracing death, I'm...now just standing around waiting for it." The man tilted his head upward to stare up at the sky. "So many things factor into it that I've forgotten all the reasons why I'm still alive. I guess you could say I'm still alive because of _spite_." He spat the last word like venom. It was easy to tell that he was hiding a long term grudge against something. The man's voice returned back to normal when he finished, "If it weren't for the hate, I would have ended it long ago....Yes, long, long ago."

As the town bus began to roll up to the bus stop, the man turned his head towards Near and asked rhetorically, "What's keeping you alive?"

Near watched as the man stepped onto the bus and disappeared inside. His gray eyes remained on the bus as he watched it rolled forward a bit and stopped again. The doors of the bus opened and the bus driver peered over at Near sitting quietly on the wooden bench.

"Where ya headin' kid?" The bus driver called out to him.

_Where am I heading?_ Near asked himself. A moment of realization hit him when he noticed something he hadn't noticed in a long time. Near was unsure—unsure of his motives, unsure of his path, unsure of himself.

"I don't know," Near admitted weakly before dropping his gaze to a crack on the sidewalk.

The bus driver gave Near a strange look before figuring out the teen wasn't going to hop onto the bus. The bus driver shrugged, closed the bus doors, and continued down the road. Still staring down at the sidewalk, Near wondered sadly. _What reasons do I have to live on? What is keeping me alive? Is the man right? Do I have...nothing?_ Near didn't dare attempt to answer the questions in fear on the answers themselves.

*~*~*~*~*

(Later that night)

Mello abruptly awoke in a wild fit of horror and rage. An invisible force tightened around Mello's throat as if the air itself began to suffocate him. His vision blurred, unable to focus on a specific object within the room. Tossing violently back and forth on his bed, he blindly swung his fists at an unknown individual. Something shouted in Mello's mind that someone was trying to murder him, and he wasn't about to just go limp and hand himself over to the attacker.

Suddenly, Mello felt a hand grasped his shoulder. Big mistake for the approacher. Swiftly, Mello grabbed onto the attacker's arm with one hand. With the other hand, Mello wrapped it up into a tight fist and hooked the guy in the jaw, sending him to the floor. Mello followed him down to the carpeted flooring, not going to let the attacker get off that easily. With the attacker flat on his back, Mello sat above him, Mello's legs straddling him as Mello's fists pounded the attacker in the face.

One of the attacker's hands grabbed one of Mello's fists before it could pulverize him further. "Jesus Christ, Mello! Snap out of it! It's me!"

Breathing heavily, Mello's blurred vision slowly began to focus. Taking his surroundings in, he relaxed after realizing he was within his and Matt's dorm. His calm state didn't last long when he noticed it was Matt who lied underneath him, his face littered with bruises. Red splotches covered Matt's face. His lip had been gashed open on one side, sending a trail of scarlet blood down his chin.

While climbing to his feet, Mello cursed, "Fuck! Matt, you're bleeding!"

Matt climbed to his feet and wiped the blood off his chin with his wrist. Going over to sit down on the edge of his own bed, Matt sarcastically commented, "Oh, really? Thanks for telling me. I had no idea."

Mello slowly walked over to his own bed as well and sat down on it. Mello pressed his back against the wall that his bed sat against and pulled his knees up. Matt, who began to tenderly press his hand against the heated wounds on his face, stated, "Remind me to not wake you up from any of your nightmares again, kay?"

Recalling the night trauma that occurred, Mello pulled his knees in closer and rested his arms on top of them. His hands held onto his elbows as he went deep into thought. A few of his blond strands fell into his eyes. Absently, Mello quietly uttered, "Sorry, Matt....I thought you were him."

Matt hesitated for a moment before bringing his hand away from his injuries. His green eyes stared over at Mello. Silently blinking, Matt said nothing. Mello continued, "I had one of those dreams again. They just keep becoming more and more vivid."

Matt frowned, climbed all the way onto his bed, and fell onto his back. He gazed over at the nightstand beside his bed. He opened the first drawer and pulled out his silver lighter. He clicked the lighter's lid open and close in a rhythm, finding peace in the sound. He shook his head. "The same dream?"

Mello nodded and affirmed, "Same dream."

The blond sharply looked up at the sound of a different kind of clicking noise. He watched as a flame sparked up out of the silver container. As if alive, the flame hissed in the darkness of the room, giving the room a faint, orange glow. One of Matt's hands hovered over the flame. Blue eyes watched as the flame licked over the sides of Matt's fingers. Terror shook Mello's body as he watched through wide eyes.

"God damn it, Matt!"

Mello chunked his pillow at Matt. Surprised by the sudden action, Matt flinched, causing the lighter to slip out of his hand. The lighter slammed up against the wall and fell down onto the bed comforter. Matt quickly glanced from Mello, to the pillow, to his lighter, to the wall. While Matt examined the wall to make sure the collision didn't leave an indention, Mello spat, "Now is not the time to get your lighter out!"

Matt gave Mello an apologetic look. "Sorry, Melz. I...It relaxes me, so I got it out, and I'm sorry. I completely forgot."

Mello, accepting Matt's apology, didn't aggressively spat at the other teen. Still slightly on the edge, Mello grumbled, "Well, it doesn't relax me any...."

Matt sighed. "It really is getting worse, isn't it?"

"Yeah...."

"What do you think is causing it?"

Blue eyes narrowed in the darkness. "It's not what, it's who," He growled bitterly.

"Near? You're blaming him again?" Matt asked, surprised yet expecting that answer. "What does he have to do with all of this?"

Mello huffed, unsure how to answer the question. Near had become an easy fall back; the albino had become Mello's scapegoat. In reality, Mello didn't think it was necessarily Near's fault—at least, not completely. Matt understood Mello's reason behind not replying to his question, but Matt didn't bring that fact up; Matt didn't want to have another injury, this time the injury on purpose. Plus, he was too tired to argue with Mello that early in the morning. Matt glanced over at the digital clock to see that in fuzzy, red letters it read: 3:16 AM. Matt groaned, placed his lighter back into the top drawer of the nightstand, and rolled over onto his side, his back facing Mello.

"Maybe getting some sleep will help, Melz," Matt slurred sleepily as he pulled the blanket over him.

Mello gave a small smile when he noticed that Matt suggested that Mello sleep, the one thing that caused Mello to go into a frenzy. Noticing how tired Matt was, Mello didn't abject to Matt wanting to sleep. Mello climbed to his feet, walked across the room and over to the door. "I'm gonna head out for a bit," Mello told his half asleep, best friend before heading out the door. _I'm not going to sleep for awhile. Not after I dreamed about _that_._

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I just want to go ahead and say that I do like Linda.

In my story, I made her a posing faker, but that doesn't mean that overall, I hate Linda.

I actually like to see her in some Death Note stories. :]

I just hate her in this story. ;P lol

And poor Matt! XD

Mello totally waylaid him!

Next chapter coming soon~

Please review. :D


	8. Chapter 7: The Truth

A/N: Hahaha! I'm back on schedule!

I got this chapter done during the weekend! WooT! 3

Let's see if I can get the next chapter done by next weekend. :3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

_He's lying. This isn't the real investigation._

It had been a couple of weeks, and now Light was positive that L was hiding something about this case. However, Light never thought L was hiding the _entire_ case. At the moment of realization, Light half wanted to slam his forehead against the desk top and keyboard. Light's gaze lingered over the keyboard for a moment longer, still thinking slamming his head was a possibility. After a second past, Light shook his head and tossed the idea away.

The young man turned his attention away from the computer screen and over to the older detective. L sat in his usual yet unusual position. His knees were up against his chest, his bare feet pressed against the edge of the chair, letting his toes dangle off the edge. He learned forward, one of his arms wrapped around his knees while he lightly nibbled on the thumb of the other hand. His midnight black bangs fell in his face, but his obsidian black eyes remained visible and locked onto the computer screen in front of him. He appeared extremely concentrated on the screen and the screen alone, but Light knew even with L concentrating on the monitor, L was still observing on his surroundings at all times. L never let his guard down. Never.

In front of L lied a plate of vanilla cupcakes. On the tops of each cupcake rested a single strawberry with whip cream encircling it. Originally, twenty cupcakes lied on the pearl white plate. Now only six remained after the passing of only seven minutes. Light never really understood why L had such a love for sweets. Besides an occasional snack of fruit, Light almost never saw L eat anything other than desserts and sugars.

Light's eyes narrowed. _And he's trying to play it off as if these files actually pertained to the actual investigation. How long did L think I was going to accept this as the truth without questioning it? Did he really think I was going to blindly look through these files and not question a single one?_ Light mentally shook his head in irritation. It was frustrating enough that Light believed this lie for almost a month now.

Only a minute passed before Light's gaze became noticed by L. The detective, without turning away from the monitor, asked, "You seemed troubled by something."

Light gave a slight frown. _How am I going to approach this subject? Would it be all right to approach the subject directly? No, L would only abject to the idea that he was lying. Even if I did go the round about way, wouldn't he still object to the idea anyway?_ After debating it for a short moment, Light stated truthfully, "I'm getting the feeling, Ryuzaki, that you still do not trust me."

For a moment, L gazed away from his computer screen and over to Light. He stopped nibbling on his thumb, but he kept it placed against his lower lip. "And how did Light come to this conclusion?" He asked calmly. Waiting for Light's reply, L casually reached down for another cupcake.

Light gave a small chuckle before retorting, "I was wondering how long you expected me to believe that these files actually pertained to the case you're working on."

Light watched as L hesitated in bringing the cupcake up to his mouth. Pausing for a moment, L's expression grew serious as he stared at the vanilla pastry in his hand. He turned it in his fingers for a moment before asking, "Why don't you think those files pertain to the investigation? What reasons would I have to give you fake files and a case of fraud?"

_Just as I expected._ Light mentally frowned. _L's denying the fact that he's been tricking me. I just don't understand it. Why would L have me work on a fake case? If he didn't want me to work on the case, why didn't he just deny my offer the first time? Well...I guess I really didn't offer. I kind of made it to where he couldn't deny my help. Still...._ A small sigh escaped Light's lips. _Did he suddenly change his mind? Is he going to say that he doesn't need my help after all?_

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Light stated bitterly. "Did you change your mind? Did you somehow realize that you didn't want my help for this investigation? Or...." Light paused before narrowing his brown eyes and finishing, "Or do you still believe me to be Kira and somehow you believe this case will reveal that?"

"You are the one who brought up the Kira factor, Light, not me." L noted calmly, his onyx eyes closely watching the young adult.

Both of Light's hands tightened into fists as frustration and anger began to bubble inside of him. "Would you come off it already?! How many times are you going to make me say this?! I'm _not_ Kira!" Light shouted irritably.

"I am not making you say anything, Light," L reminded knowingly.

This only made Light's anger intensify. Now with his insides filled with bitter anger, Light mentally sighed. _I knew that he'd deny it, but I still don't understand. Why does he still think I'm Kira? I know that's what he's thinking. That would be the only logical reason he'd keep me here._

_I mean, what other reason would he possibly have...?_

"Now tell me, Light. How did you come to this conclusion of your's?" L asked while finishing the cupcake he held in his hand, making sure to eat the strawberry last.

Light regained his posture and placed an open file on L's keyboard. Now feeling calm, Light explained, "It was quite easy to figure out this wasn't the case you were working on. No, I did not snoop onto your computer," Light added, not wanting L to excuse him of anything else. "Rei Nara has been jailed for the injustice of thievery and premeditated murder. Looking at her other files, she has previously been put on trial for thievery in the past. It's obvious on this certain case that the judge and police have jailed her on the whim that she was up to no good. The evidence they had against her didn't match anything pertaining to her."

Light continued, "The threat letter she supposedly wrote didn't match her hand writing and was written by someone with a perfectly good wrist. Ms. Nara during that period of time—and even now, has her arm in a sling after a bad bicycle accident. Also, for someone as fit as Nara, it would be easy for her to commit this crime, yes. However, the judge and investigators failed to realize she has been diagnosed for lung cancer and has had a history of respiration problems her entire life. She has a fair amount of stamina, but actual speed she doesn't have. Therefore, there's another reason why she could not have committed the murder."

"As for the theft, it was obviously not her. After doing some research on her, she has had a history of theft. However, the pure gold and silver jewelery that was stolen was not of her doing. Rei only steals small foods such as snack bars, medical drugs, and bike equipment. Those are all things she has solid use for, and it's clear she would only steal things she has a use for. She'd have no use for the jewelery, therefore she wouldn't steal it. It's obvious that she is the innocent in this case."

He then paused. Light's tone suddenly grew grave when he continued on, "It was at this time I realized this wasn't the case you were working on. I figured everything out about Ms. Nara within a two week period. The case seemed too simple for you to take on. Sure, it is an injustice for an innocent to be labeled as guilty, but you still wouldn't take on this case for another reason. I did some more research after that, and it turns out that a detective named Ross Green is already taking this case on. He too believes that Rei is innocent and is on the verge of revealing the truth. It's at that point I realized you weren't working on this case. If you can reasonably object to anything that I've just said, L, then please do so."

After Light finished, the two of them remained silent. L's onyx eyes gaze down at the files in front of him. He stared for a long moment, but Light knew that L's attention wasn't on the files. L's mind was examining the words Light had just said, trying to think of the best way to answer. Light knew that L was going to try to abject to Light's explanation in some way; he knew it wasn't going to be that easy to convince L that Light knew the truth.

"I have no objections to what you've said."

Light's honey brown eyes widened. _Did he just admit that he lied?_ Light gasped in thought. _It couldn't possibly be that easy. He's going to throw some twist in his words...._

"I thought you would figure it out sooner or later, Light," L began. "You're right. That's not the real case." L grabbed the file that were on his desk, stood, and walked over to the filing cabinets. He open one of the drawers and started to go through them.

As L began to pull a file out, Light began, "Why—?"

Light cut off his sentence when L flopped a file into Light's lap. The file looked different than the rest. The black folder appeared to be old and worn out as if the file had been within the cabinets for awhile. _How long has L been keeping track of this file?_ Light opened the folder carefully. There appeared to be numerous papers within the folder, some old and some new. Like most of the files, on the inside cover of the folder was a picture of the suspect that had been paper clipped to the file. At seeing the picture on the file, Light's eyes widened.

_Is that L?_

No, it couldn't have been L. The appearance of the man in the picture resembled L's own appearance, but was definitely not L. The man had the same solid black hair as L's, but the spiky, messiness of the man's hairstyle seemed to be forced. L's hair naturally flowed in many directions. There was one thing about the picture that sent a chill down Light's spine. The man's eyes were bright red with amber speckles in them. The man's blood red eyes seemed to have a dark flame within them. A flame of vengeance that could only be seen within two types of people: determined avengers and violent murders....

"He goes by the name Beyond Birthday." L's words awoke Light out of his trance. "His other alias is Backup."

After looking more closely at the file, Light commented, "He attended Wammy's Orphanage." _That's the orphanage L went to, isn't it? The one Watari founded?_

"Yes, I know," L plainly responded before stating gravely, "He's broken out of prison. I'm trying to find out where he is and what he's after."

"When did he break out?" Light asked.

"A month and a half ago."

_So that's why he was troubled when the Kira investigation came to an end. Even though that case was over, another case was still playing out. Beyond and L must have some kind of connection. Sure, it appears Beyond is a mass murder of many talents, so L would take an interest in this case, but since Beyond went to Wammy's Orphanage....L must know him in some way._

Light's eyes lifted up to see L place himself back down in his chair and pick up another cupcake. _What could be so much different about this case that L wants to take it on alone? Well, I'm here, but it would seem like an investigation team would be needed for this. What's holding L back from gathering up investigators to help work on this case? This really is different._ With these thoughts in mind, Light knew L was telling the truth this time.

"Having hard feelings, Light?" L asked after almost finishing his cupcake. "Do you believe I'm telling the truth this time or lying? Are you going to assist me on this investigation?"

Still deep in thought, Light stared at the detective. Light's eyes lingered down to the desk and a small, sly smile formed on his face. L raised an eyebrow, curious as to what Light was pondering. Before L could try to question Light's intentions, Light reached over and snatched up one of the cupcakes. After taking a bite out of the cupcake, Light's smile spread across his face. "Yeah, I think I'll forgive you and help on the investigation, L."

Watching Light eat one of his cupcakes, L pouted. His bottom lip stuck out childishly as he murmured, "I was about to eat that one...." At this statement and L's pouting, Light couldn't help but laugh mirthfully.

* * *

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, L!!!

8D

I'm so glad I got this chapter done on L's birthday.

Sure, it doesn't have anything pertaining to his birthday or Halloween, but this chapter has L in it! :3

Happy Halloween everyone!

I hope none of you get sick on candy!

*throws out candy to everyone*

Have fun~


	9. Chapter 8: Breakdown

A/N: Woooo! Another chapter! :]

I cannot believe it's Thursday already! Last week was going by so slowly, but this week is speeding by!

I hope everyone's week is going by quickly too!

And I'm thinking about naming the chapters. I like stories that have named chapters, so yeah....

Hahaha. Now that I've got eight chapters up, I'll probably go back and name these chapters when I find some time.

**Warning:** This chapter contains a suicidal attempt. If the character succeeds or fails, read to find out for yourself. ;)

Disclaimer:I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

Gray eyes stared at the clock on the wall. The clock became a bomb of destruction, ticking down the minutes—the seconds—that remain until complete annihilation. Annihilation of what exactly? Near didn't know the answer to that question. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

Everything suddenly became louder than usual. The clock spun his head around wildly like a child jerking the bars of a four-colored marry-go-round at the park. The scribbling of pencils against paper screeched in Near's mind like razors clawing down a dusty chalkboard. The rustling of papers became the flapping wings of black buzzards who were soon to search for a rotting carcass. The shrill of chairs scrapping against the tile floor were car tires screeching against the pavement as they come closer and closer to Near.

The cracking of the wood of his pencil awoke Near from his trance. His entire body tensed. Was it from picturing a car skidding towards him? He loosen his gripped on the number two pencil. His eyes scanned the wooden surface. Faint crack marks could be seen in the middle of the pencil where Near had gripped it too tightly. He sighed and set his pencil down on his desk. He was done with his work anyway.

_What's wrong with me?_ He asked himself. He felt sick. Not feverish sick, but he felt nauseous. His sick stomach felt knotted. The knot inside of him kept growing tighter and tighter, making his stomach spasm every so often. His stomach wasn't the only thing bothering him either. From all of his jumbled thoughts, a pounding headache hit him roughly. Staring down at the desk in front of him, he debated laying his head down on the surface. After a few moments, he decided against it. He didn't want to bring attention to himself. The students around him would realize that something was wrong if Near decided to rest his head against his desk.

Near _almost_ flinched when the teacher walked over to his desk and asked for his paper. He nodded and handed his work to the woman. Before walking off, the teacher frowned and tilted her head to the side slightly. "Is everything all right, Near?"

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

The silence between the two of them seemed to pass for hours, even though Near was sure only a few seconds went by before Near slowly nodded. He didn't say anything. He didn't lift his hand up to twirl his locks like he usually did. He didn't give a full response on his behalf. He only gave a short, half nod before turning his head down slightly to stare at his cracked pencil and wooden desk top.

Luckily for Near, the teacher said nothing more and continued making her way down the aisles to collect papers. His stomach spasmed again. He didn't care about what the other students would think this time. Near abruptly rested his head on the desk, his forehead pressing against the cold, wooden surface as his white curls falling into his face, covering his closed eyes.

_What's going on?_ Near wondered again with his head still jumbled wall-to-wall with various thoughts. _Why am I feeling like this?_ This wasn't the first day he felt sick. In fact, he had been feeling sick ever since Sunday, which was when Roger took a group of people to the convenience stores. That was also the day Near talked to the man with the black, trench coat....

Suddenly, the bell rang, echoing through the classroom. After getting up from his chair, Near noticed something. He seemed to move slower than everyone else. As he walked down the hallways, heading towards the Common Room. The students around him seemed to move quicker than usual, their voices echoing in Near's head like white noise. Near felt as if he had been shoved into a dimension that moved five seconds slower than reality. His head felt like it were spinning again. Dizzily, Near stepped into the Common Room.

Stumbling over his bare feet, Near pushed the double doors of the Common Room close. It took more effort than usual; the doors oddly felt heavier. With the doors shut, the room blocked out the echoing sounds and fast moving images from Near's mind. Near breathed heavier and quicker than usual as he leaned against the door, his hands outspread and roughly pressed on the wooden surface. He could feel his heart beating like a fast paced metronome, distinct and intimidating.

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

The ticking of a bomb continued to echo through his blurred mind. The faint noise was quiet enough for it to be inevitable not to concentrate on it but loud enough for Near to want it to stop. Near slowly moved away from the door, trying hard not to stumble and fall to the hard, tiled ground. He made his way over to the cabinets where he kept his puzzle. He clumsily reached for his puzzle and ended up knocking it off into the floor.

White puzzle pieces scattered, some pieces skidding across the ground while others teetertottered side-to-side for a moment before limply lying against the floor. Near knelt down and shakily reached out to grab a puzzle piece and place it back into its box. He suddenly froze in place. He felt his heart shake fearfully in his chest as he stared down at the puzzle pieces. The pieces began to blend with the tile flooring. He couldn't distinguish what was the floor and what was a puzzle piece.

All of the emotions Near kept bottled up inside were beginning to bubble over. These foreign feelings taking a hold of Near, emotions that he had tried so hard to keep locked away. A quiet mewl caught in Near's throat as he realized what emotion was currently rising up.

Fear.

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

Why fear? Why now? Near knew the answers he didn't want to know. He blocked the answers from his mind the best he could. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about the man's depressed words. Those words that were frightening and dipped in remorse. Those words that held confusion and insensitivity. Those words that could very possibly be truthful and real....

Near looked up at the sound of one of the Common Room doors opening. A familiar blond stood in the doorway for a moment before stepping inside. "Near—," Mello cut himself off before Near could figure out what he was saying.

Near suddenly tried his best to cover up his emotions again. _Does Mello see it?_ Near wondered. _Can he see my __fear? Is that why he stopped?_ Near mentally shook his head, not wanting to think of the events that could play out if Mello saw a foreign emotion on Near. It was bad enough that Near let his guard down a bit while in class. Of all the students in the entire orphanage, Mello would be the most likely to notice any changes. This fact probably wasn't helping Near's stability.

Without warning, the aura of the room abruptly shifted. Tension crawled along the walls like demons pushing their way out of the depths of the earth. Shadows from the thunderstorm that raged on outside engulfed the room in almost complete darkness even though it was only about four-thirty at the latest. Terror shook the room like an earthquake as Near dizzily watch Mello stalked towards him. Mello suddenly became a beast of fire as flames of rage flared off of him. His eyes became shards of ice that burned hotter than dry ice. Near felt his heart beat wildly in his chest as Mello approached him. Even with as loud as Near's heart drummed, there was a sound that rang louder in his skull.

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

_'You're still the outsider,'_ The man's voice echoed through Near's head like a disease.

Mello stood in front of Near now, his shadow being casted over Near.

_Tick-tock-tick-tock. Tick-tock-tick-tock._

_'Do you _honestly_ think that everyone can get along perfectly fine being just the way they are?'_

A heated hand clenched the collar of Near's white, pajama shirt.

_Tick-tock-tick-tock. Tick-tock-tick-tock._

_'It is the different ones that always get shoved over the edge.'_

Near's gray eyes drastically widened.

_Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock._

_'What's keeping you alive?'_

Mello's fist collided with Near's left cheek, sharply lashing Near's head to the side. As soon as Near's mind began to process what was happening, his body had already been slammed into the ground, the side of his head pressing against the cold tile. His left cheek hotly burned as the other was cooled by the tiled flooring. Finally his brain processed the blow and send pain shooting through Near's body, the center of the pain on his face and...his heart. His cheek almost burned as painfully as his heart did. The pain that clenched his heart triggered another emotion. The emotion was triggered without Near realizing it until he felt something cold and wet dampen his cheek and the tile floor.

A few tears escaped his eyes. It was as if the punch had shattered the bottle that Near stuffed all of his emotions into. Although no sobs or whimpers escaped Near's throat, cold tears dripped down his face. After realizing the tears, Near quickly realized another detail. He realized something else the punch triggered. The ticking of the destructive bomb had ceased. Actually, Near couldn't hear much of anything. There was only one thing Near could hear.

Silence. Numb silence.

Sure, Near could hear the heavy breathing of Mello's breath and Near's own heart, but this strange, numb silence seemed louder than those solid noises. The silence intimidated Near. It held a strange, controlling power over the gray-eyed teen. A shiver of fear rolled down his spine, causing Near's heart to spasm and another tear to fall.

Near turned his head up, so his bangs weren't covering his face. His white locks still covered part of his face, but his hazy, gray eyes blankly stared up at Mello. Near watched as Mello reared his fist back, ready to pound another fist into Near's face. Almost instantly after making eye contact, Mello's fist froze in mid-punch. His blue eyes widened sharply. Near watched as the shards of ice shattered, breaking the raged trance. Mello's mouth opened in a slight gasp. Near could hear Mello's breathing hitch as he stared through an emotional vision. So many emotions shined in the dim light. Mello's blue eyes were glossy with confusion, shock, and another emotion that Near was too dizzy to decipher it.

Mello took one step back and almost tripped over an invisible obstacle that suddenly appeared under his feet. Near wasn't surprised by Mello's reaction. Ever since Near arrived at the orphanage, Near had only cried twice. Near sobbed on the first day at arriving at Wammy's Orphanage. Being only five, Near had been terribly shaken by his mother's traumatic breakdown, suicide, abuse towards him, and Watari taking him to a foreign place and being dropped off into the hands of another stranger, Roger. The second time had been now. This had been the first time Near had cried in ten years. Everything Near had built up was beginning to unravel before him—and Mello. Broken and numbly weak, Near lied against the tile floor.

"N-Near," Mello's voice caught in his throat for a moment as he continued to stare, unable to tear his eyes away from Near's dreary eyes. "You're—."

"Mello," Near found his voice came out thickly monotonously. Apparently the numbness reached Near's vocal cords and voice box as well. As Near slowly turned onto his stomach and slowly begin to push himself off the ground, Near croaked, "Please don't say it....Please save me the trouble."

It hurt enough to feel the icy tears against his hot face. Near didn't want it to be acknowledged by an external presence as well. It pained Near enough already, he didn't want it to hurt even more than it already did. His arms feeling too weak, Near gave up and placed himself back down on the tile of the shadowy Common Room. Near listened as Mello took a few uneven steps backwards, turned, and then raced out of the Common Room. Near heard one of the doors fly open and shut again, leaving Near within the numb silence again.

Near wasn't sure how long he lied there on the tile within the darkness. All he knew was when he finally pushed himself off the ground, it was obviously nightfall. A silent strike of lightening flashed though the Common Room, blindly brightening the room before submitting it to darkness again. Over the course of a couple of hours, more knots tied themselves in Near's stomach, his body felt shakier, and his heart painfully ached as it beat irregularly.

Almost as soon as he stood on his feet, he almost toppled back over once a dizzy sickness pounded into his brain. As Near slowly walked out of the room and began to ascend the stairs of Wammy's Orphanage, the silence echoed through his head. That dark, numb silence still captured his mind. With each small step Near took on the stairs, he felt he was getting closer and closer to the truth. The cold, hard truth. The fact that the man had been right all along.

What was keeping Near alive? Trying to succeed L? Was that the reason Near continued through life? Near shook his head and sighed. That one orphan—Dave—might be right. If he worked hard enough, he could be the one to succeed L. Who was L? "L" was just a name without a face, without an identity. If someone doesn't have an identity, couldn't anyone choose to be that person if they have enough similar qualities? Besides...Mello wanted to be L anyway. _Mello...._

Near jiggled the brass knob of the door of his room before stepping inside. He shut the door behind him and continued through the shady room. _Do I not have a purpose?_ Near asked rhetorically. _Is the life I'm leading truly mine? Is it what I want? ...What am I wanting exactly?_ It had been so long since Near truthfully desired _anything_, and now after taking whatever was given to him, Near wasn't sure what he was searching for anymore.

Without warning, Near's foot caught on one of his robots that had been lying in the floor. Near fell forward, his lower stomach hitting against the edge of his nightstand and his upper body crushing anything that lied on the surface. The digital, alarm clock and shaded lamp quickly got knocked off into the floor, and the distinct sound of glass shattering echoed through Near's room.

Wincing with pain, Near looked down to see his right arm had landed roughly on the empty glass that had been sitting on Near's nightstand since last night when he had went downstairs to get a drink of water around bedtime. The glass now rested on its side, jagged shards of glass scattered across the nightstand, in the floor, and cutting into his sleeve and arm. Near narrowed his eyes in the darkness, trying to concentrate on his arm. He slowly lifted up his right arm and shook off some of the glass shards, sending them to the carpeted floor. Looking at the underside of his arm, Near noticed the once white sleeve now appeared distinctly red. Near carefully pulled his torn sleeve back to examine his arm.

Two jagged glass shards were jabbed into his forearm. Scarlet blood formed around the glass pieces and sent a small, red trail down his arm. Two drops of blood dripped off of his arm and fell onto the floor. Near watched as the beige carpet dissolved the droplets, distorting their sizes and leaving a discolored mark on the floor. His gray eyes fell back onto his injured arm. He grabbed one of the glass shards between his thumb and forefinger. He slowly began to pull on the piece until it came out of his arm. He carefully placed it on the nightstand and went back to his arm to pull the other piece out. The second piece didn't come out as easily. Pulling harder onto the shard, when the glass piece finally came out, one of the rugged edges cut into his fingers.

He placed the bloody, translucent piece of glass on his nightstand. Turning his attention to his fingers, his gray eyes stared at the pricks in his finger. Blood began to push its way out of his forefinger and thumb, pushing against the skin until it could be visible to the human eye. With his thumb, Near gently wiped the blood, smearing it against the top of his finger and side of his thumb.

_'I meant death.'_

At the sound of the man's words echoing through his mind, Near's heart quickened its pace. First his heart only quickened slightly. Then his heart swiftly pounded before Near could feel his heart ramming itself against the side of his chest, sending a sickly chill through him. The word 'death' echoed through Near's mind in a raspy, shallow voice. As the voice chanted in his head, hazy, gray eyes locked onto a medium sized, glass piece that appeared harshly crooked. Near's mind blanked as he reached out for the broken glass scrap. Near felt himself get caught up in the moment, his thoughts refusing to process, or maybe it was Near who kept them from processing. Near only had one destination in mind. He planned to end it—to end it all.

His body moved without him. His mind clicked off as he took the jagged fragment in hand and pressed it against the skin of his right arm. The chill of the glass shard against his hot skin send a shaky shiver through Near. The shard jaggedly cut into Near's skin as he moved the glass down his arm. He made another incision into his arm, this time near his wrist. He cut into the skin near his wrist and sliced the glass across his arm. With his body still moving out of control, he placed the glass fragment into his right hand gave attention to his left arm. He made two slices across his arm before moving one stroke down his arm.

As he moved the shard slowly down his arm, the pain finally began to catch up with the actions. A sweltering pain grasped Near's body, the source of the pain coming from the cuts that began to bleed of scarlet death. Vivid droplets of fiery red began to gush out of the cuts and streak down his pale skin. Some of the droplets trickled onto his sleeves and onto his pajama pants. Heated tears formed in his gray eyes. As Near's knees gave way, sending Near into the floor, tears began to stream down his eyes. He landed heavily on his knees, and his body began to quiver with the agony of not the cuts, but the entire situation.

Everything around him was unraveling and crumbling down into bits of dust that would soon become lost and forgotten. Near reared his hand back, ready to jab the glass piece into his main blood vein in his wrist. His eyes clamped shut as his body trembled. Tension tightened around every muscle in Near's body, painfully shaking him. Then as fast as the tension came, all of the tightness released. Near's strong grip on the glass loosened completely. The shard of glass fell from his limp hand and landed quietly against the floor. The blood that covered the glass rolled off the translucent piece and dripped onto the carpet.

From holding the shard so tightly in his hand a moment ago, blood dripped from the gash that had been created in the palm of his right hand. Not caring that the blood was staining his shirt, Near wrapped his arms around himself, holding his ribcage. His bloody fingers pressed into his ribs tightly, afraid that if he let some of the tension release, he would lose himself.

Then the tears came. Uncontrollably they cascaded down his cheeks, off his chin, and onto the bloodstained carpet. A few icy tears dripped onto the warm blood, cooling the red liquid and partially diluting it. Faint mewls and sobs broke out of Near's throat as he bent forward, almost pressing his forehead against his legs as he held himself. Cold tears dampened the legs of his pajamas as his white locks began to cover his face like lashes of snow covering a tombstone.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't shove himself into the empty, coldly awaiting grave. A part of his mind still tightly held onto life, afraid of the jaws of death. A small part of him didn't want to give up. Death was the ultimate sacrifice, ultimate and final way of giving up, yet at the same time there was a conflicting thought. The rest of his mind feared life and wanted nothing more of it. The rest of his mind had already thrown up white flags and dug their graves, ready to leap into death's claws. These conflicting thoughts only placed Near into a turmoil. He was so unsure of himself now.

Not wanting to move from the spot on the ground, Near curled up onto the bloody, damp carpet that was littered with rugged, glass fragments. As he lied there, another stroke of silent lightening flashed through his window that was covered by a curtain. The white light blinded Near's eyes for a moment, causing him to close them out of reflex. After he closed his eyes, he didn't feel the need to open them again. He heard the sound of thunder in the distance before the dead silence of the night took hold of his mind and body. Doubting he'd get much sleep, Near decided he'd clean up the mess in the early morning. Right now, all he wanted to do was lie there within the brokenness of his room. He'd lie just as broken as the broken glass, the broken tears, and blood that spilled from his broken heart.

*~*~*~*~*

Mello's back slid down his bedroom wall. Before he realized it, he was sitting on the ground dazedly. His heart still beat with the same great intensity it had earlier when he was with Near in the Common Room. _Near...._ A picture of Near lying against the floor of the Common Room with his eyes full of painful tears flashed through Mello's mind. _What happened?_ It was the only question Mello could form. His mind whirled with so many confusing his thoughts, the only question he could ask himself was painfully vague.

It all started when Mello saw Near do something he'd never done before. Near rested his head on the desk in class that afternoon as if he were hurt by a certain, unknown force that took hold of the albino teen. He acted so strangely. Mello never saw him act that way before; he couldn't recall a single time Near acted in such a torn way. It seemed so out of the blue and abnormal.

Mello remembered following Near to the Common Room. Near looked so distraught as he walked down the hallway, almost as if he'd never been inside the orphanage before and forgot where everything was placed. _I remember feeling concerned and—Concerned?_ Mello lifted his gaze for a moment and stared across the room and over to the window. The feeling wasn't bitter pity or randomly placed sympathy. It was pure concern. _Why—?_ Mello shook the thought away and continued going back through everything that happened.

_I remember entering the Common Room. I was going to ask what was going on, or what he was trying to pull, but...._A picture of Near's eyes flashed in Mello's head. Those gray eyes that were hazy with uncertainty. Those gray eyes that reflected a silver light of confusion. Those gray eyes that were dripping with fear and panic. _That panic wasn't directed at me._ Mello knew. _Something else caused such fear in Near. What could it have been? I've never seen Near so distressed over anything. I can't think of a time anyway...._

Mello recalled the feeling that swept over him as soon as he saw the fear within Near's eyes. _First I felt concerned and then....This feeling....This strong feeling came over me—it _inflamed_ me! I didn't know how to take it! I fell back into my angry habit. I-I...._

The picture of cold tears streaming down Near's face shook Mello's thoughts. _Near....He....He sounded so battered. There was so much pain in his eyes and even in his voice. He held so much agony inside. Why was he crying? Was it because of me? He's never cried before when I've hit him, not even during the more brutal times. What caused it?_

The event that happened that evening was completely shaking Mello. He wasn't sure how to take or handle it. Mello's eyes narrowed at the ground. He kicked a book across the floor and watched it slam against the other wall. "I shouldn't even be bothered by this," He growled. _Right...?_

Mello sighed when the fact of the matter caught hold of him. He shook his head and let his blond bangs fall into his face, those strands of hair shadowing his eyes. Even if he wasn't suppose to care, he did. Underneath all of the hate and anger, something else rested. He just couldn't seem to reach down far enough to figure out what was resting underneath all of his scornful rage. Mello's blue eyes stared out the window again before climbing to his feet. He walked over to the window and stared out at the rain as it splattered against the glass. For a moment, Mello thought he heard the sound of glass breaking, but he ignored it, thinking he was misinterpreting the thunder outside.

Before heading off to bed, he slowly closed his blue eyes, trying to block out his troubled thoughts again. As he leaned against the window's seal, Mello whispered truthfully into the darkness. Even if he wasn't sure why he felt the need to speak or know why he wished to say such words, he murmured, "I'm sorry, Near."

* * *

Lol. I'm so loving time references right now (if you couldn't tell).

Poor Near! : (

Yes, it had to be done. Near is finally loosing it.

Well, at least Mello's starting to figure out that he might not hate Near, right?

Maybe. Maybe not. (Muwahahaha! Lol)

Please review~


	10. Chapter 9: Wondering Thoughts

**A/N:** Oh. My. God. :V  
I'M SO SORRY!!!! D:  
I'm a MONTH behind, and I know it! Ugh! I can't even BEGIN to apologize to you guys!  
But don't worry! I will get back onto updating each week! I'm getting a head start and posting this chapter early in the week.  
Hopefully you guys will forgive me since I wrote a long chapter this go round. ^ ^  
Man, I've been so busy these last two weeks. There was Thanksgiving (which was amazing), and this last week I took a trip to Cabos, Mexico. My aunt got married! Wooo! I have a new uncle! :D I saw the ocean for the first time, and experienced seeing the sunrise over the ocean. It was AMAZING! Other than those two things, eh. I'm so glad to be back home in the US. I'm not much of a beach person......I'm more of a mountain, snow, and cold person. I'm so glad it's cold and drizzling right now. :]

**Special Thanks** to Dancing Bones! I never got enough time to thank you for your lovely review. I tried to at one point, but as soon as I almost got done finishing it, my computer messed up and I lost my long reply back. D: I tried though! Anyway, thank you so much. It really made my day. ^ ^ I hope you continue to enjoy this story. It's not over yet. ;)

**Disclaimer:** I own DL and Q. All the rest of the characters are NOT mine and will never be mine sadly. This story, however, is mine so no stealing!

* * *

It was typical that L found himself unhappy on the very day he was meant to be happy. Most individuals' opinions stated that a birthday was suppose to be filled with nostalgic memories of the past year, welcomed with cake and ice cream, and one was supposed to be smothered in presents wrapped with overly shiny and colorful paper that sometimes had prints on them such as a birthday hat or balloons. L never cared for that particular birthday concept, but the idea of having a large cake of any sort made his stomach cartwheel in excitement.

L gently turned back and forth in his computer chair as he sat at his desk. Being the late evening, the sun had already set below the thousands of skyscrapers that covered Tokyo. However, a dim glow came in through the windows of the large building since Tokyo was far from dark. The several, pale yellow lights that infested the buildings, streets, and vehicles kept the city in a constant light, even if the light was dim at times as it was now.

While his onyx eyes stared at the brightly lit, computer screen, the detective rested his thumb on his bottom lip comfortably. His black bangs casted a shadow over his eyes, causing his eyes to appear like hollow holes. These dark eyes reflected the man's weary, distant thoughts. Although many files and papers littered his desk, his mind had drifted elsewhere, and it seemed his cluttered desk reflected his jumbled thoughts.

There wasn't much keeping the detective's mind on the crime case. His only companion for the night was his dear friend and caretaker, Watari. His partner, Light Yagami, had not showed up to headquarters that day. There was a 68% chance that Light was being kept within his parents' household due to his parents' possible desires to do a family event. Considering that no one on the original investigation team was suppose to know about this particular crime case, and the fact that Soichiro Yagami, Light's father, was part of the original team, it would be easier for Light to not explain his whereabouts when he left the house. If there was a family event, it was possible Light would take the easier route and not show up this evening.

L had a single, strawberry cupcake resting on top of a napkin on his work desk. A layer of white, vanilla frosting rested on the upper part of the pastry. Finishing off the presentation of the delicacy, a full, ruby colored strawberry rested peacefully on top. On any usual day, the detective would have instantly devoured this sugary treat. However, his roaming, scattered thoughts and emotions kept him from picking up the cupcake and taking even a nibble of it. Not even the fact that today was the detective's twenty-fifth birthday made L snap out of his not-so-friendly thoughts.

Trying to awaken himself out of the trance, L turned his attention back down towards the files he was looking through to try to pinpoint the location of the criminal, Beyond Birthday. It only took L five minutes to hesitate in his work. After picking up Beyond's profile folder, L's thoughts began to drift again as his onyx eyes rolled over the information on the sheet.

The profile sheet in his hands was the information sheet the local, Japanese police kept track of. All the information on the sheet was information that was local to the investigation teams across Japan. However, L's mind continued to disagree with many points on the sheet as his eyes roamed over the stats and notes. One of the notes clearly stated how the police had classified Beyond as a insane maniac who appeared to be deeply troubled; the man was a psychopath. Although that description may prove true, the information was too vague to do any help in _any_ investigation. The information on the profile sheet alone would not do the investigation much good.

_Beyond may be deeply troubled, yes, but his internal stresses and struggles go much deeper, and no one other than myself knows this. Not even Watari or Roger truly knows the full extent to Beyond's troubles both mental and physical. _One of L's fingers brushed through the papers within Beyond's criminal folder of L's personal notes, information sheets, profile stats, and records. While fingering through these sheets, L's mind continued to whirl with thoughts both pertaining to the case and scattered thoughts.

_It looks like you're keeping your promise, Beyond. I would expect that much from you. You kept your vow to escape solitary confinement. I had no doubt that you would, but....What are you planning on achieving in escaping? I know you were kept within the jail for all of those years because you chose to be there. Now that you've escaped, where are you heading? What is your longterm goal?_

After fingering through the papers for a moment, L finally came to what he was looking for. He pulled out a small photograph that had small smudges covering it and a few tears on the sides. The small wrinkles and faintness of the picture indicated that the picture was a bit older instead of merely not being taken care of. It was a picture that would have been taken as an individual, school photo. The individual within the picture had an appeared very similar to L, but even the smallest of detail differences stood out within the picture. The stance, the crudeness of his hair, his odd grin, and most importantly, his eye color all made the difference in distinguishing L from the man in the picture; the infamous man with the given the name, Beyond Birthday.

While setting the picture carefully down on the top of the desk, L's mind began to drift off into a memory that occurred years ago but didn't seem too far away in thought. This particular memory took L years back to when he was an adolescent living within Wammy's Orphanage for gifted individuals. L could distinctly remember when Watari first brought him to the orphanage on that cold, snowy night, however that was not the memory that played within the detective's head.

_"Hahaha! A, I thought your name was Aspen. You should have been named Chicken instead of being named after a tree. Oh wait! You do stand scared stiff! They should have put a hyphen in your name, A."_

_ The youngest adolescent within the group tilted his head down in embarrassment at Beyond's words. It never took much to unease the the redheaded boy. A's orange-red hair that was waist length fell into his face, covering his tan features, and shielding his misty gray eyes. He shifted his weight uneasily on the cafeteria bench that was attached to one of the cafeteria's long, tables. His shoulders came closer to his neck as he tried to peacefully eat his lunch. However, Beyond wasn't someone who could be easily ignored._

_ "What's wrong, A?" Beyond cooed mockingly as his amber-red eyes flashed mischievously._

_ "Nothing is wrong, Beyond." Although A tried his hardest to keep his tone even, his voice was obviously shaky with a hint of uneasiness._

_ A wide grin spread across Beyond's face, showing off his crooked ivories as he took a seat next to the nervous adolescent. Quickly following Beyond, a scrawny teenager sat beside the teen with a crooked grin. The teenager next to Beyond had greasy, brown hair that had a natural greenish coloration to the strands. His wavy hair fell scraggly around and into his face. His distinct, green-yellow eyes gazed from Beyond to A to everyone else at the table to back to Beyond. His leg twitched while siting at the cafeteria table. However, no one commented or acknowledged it, since it was a habit of the adolescent to twitch or continue to shift his weight. The spacey teenager wasn't particularly the most intelligent individual within the orphanage, but I knew he had an excellent memory. Also, over the years due to Beyond's influence, this adolescent had now been known to be shifty._

_ "Denial is just another way to acknowledge something is true," Beyond teased him. The black-haired harasser seemed to be enjoying every second that passed while he poked fun at the redhead. Beyond had no interest in trying to be friendly with the redhead, and he was making it very known to everyone there at Wammy's Orphanage. Every individual within the orphanage knew Beyond harassed A more than any of the other orphans within the facility. There was an apparent hatred between the two of them, although many would say the hatred was one-sided because no one truly believed A hated or even held a grudge against anyone. Also, many believed that Beyond harassed and teased other for the attention, not because Beyond was vain, but because he wanted me to notice him. At this point in time, however, I hadn't quite put two and two together nor had any interest in doing so._

_ "Leave Aspen alone, Beyond."_

_ Beyond's attention rose to the adolescent sitting on the other side of the uneasy redhead. The teenager had milky, khaki colored, straight hair that was in a shorter cut hairstyle and kept out of his face. His bangs swept to the side and came down to caress the right side of his face. Although his hair wasn't cut extremely short, it was short enough to show off a bit of his forehead; his bangs didn't come extremely close to his eyes. His light green eyes were narrowed at Beyond. His gaze instantly meeting his, not showing any sign of fearfulness towards the harasser._

_ Beyond smirked. "What are you talking about, Q? You say that as if I've done something wrong," Beyond faked innocence on purpose to mess with the brunette._

_ "Beyond, you completely know what you're doing. I know, A knows, DL knows it, and _you_ know it." The sternness in Q's tone clearly stated how annoyed and irritated he truly was at the red eyed teen and his companion who seemed to follow Beyond around everywhere he went._

_ Beyond turned his head to the twitching teenager beside him. "DL, do I appear to be doing anything harmful to A?"_

_ The scraggly haired teen vigorously shook his head for a bit longer than was necessary, his wavy bangs lightly hit him in the face. His green-yellow eyes were rounded with alertness as they usually were. He always appeared eager when it came to tagging along with Beyond and assisting his jokes, jabs, and mischief. It was the teenager's eyes that made the boy seem so innocent and guiltless._

_ "No. No. No. No, Beyond. You haven't done anything harmful to A." The instant DL's rounded eyes met with Beyond's red pools, DL quickly averted his gaze. The teen chose to look away from everyone at the table—including A—but didn't turn his head away from the scene._

_ Beyond turned his attention back to Q and A. "Well, it looks like _Mother Hen_ is being overly paranoid over her chick again." Beyond chose to make another chicken reference. He knew such a small jab wouldn't light Q's anger aflame, but Beyond had the feeling that it would annoy Q just enough. _

_ Q rolled his eyes for a split second before snapping irritably, "Harmful doesn't always mean physical pain, Beyond. There is such a thing as mental and psychological harm as well. You know that. Now leave A alone!"_

_ "Q-Quill....You don't have to stick up for me," A's quiet voice whispered over to Q's direction. A's gray eyes peeked over at the adolescent who's attention was immediately on him after A spoke. "I'm fine."_

_ A kind smile formed on Q's face as his green eyes seemed to sparkle with gentleness when he spoke to the redhead. "I know I don't _have_ to, A," Q began to explain to him. "I choose to stick up on your behalf because I want to, not have to." I knew that A already knew Q's words were true, considering there was a _reason_ A was second at Wammy's Orphanage. However, I also knew how emotional and overly cautious A could be; he probably felt like he needed to hear Q say something pertaining to their friendship to ensure A that the friendship was existent. _

_ I could not hear what A whispered back to Q, but I remember seeing the wide smile on the brunette's facial features. His beaming seemed to make Beyond irritated, almost as if seeing happiness made Beyond unhappy. It was at this point that I chose to continue all the way into the cafeteria. Many individuals gazed over at me when I entered, but I guess that's what happens when you become number one at the orphanage. It would seem likely that some individuals would loose interest in the challenge, but I knew that was hardly the case. My existence only seemed to fuel the fire of struggles of the challenge. My existence alone challenged each and every individual within the orphanage to continue to fight to get the number one spot._

_ At this point in my life, I didn't really care too much about being on the top of the totem pole. Grades mattered to me, yes, but I believed many orphans within Wammy's were capable of being number one if they chose to work hard enough for it. However, if that was the case alone, I would have dipped under the challengers. It seemed to be a chain reaction. My spot on the totem pole challenged them, and knowing and seeing how diligent they worked and fought for the spot made me cling tighter to being number one. It appeared that I too enjoyed a challenge, whether I pushed the others hurtfully back or not; I found it almost enjoyable. Also, being a bit selfish and prideful made me want to cling onto the top of the totem pole. I was 99% sure they would never think about giving up, and in saying that, I would never fall from being number one._

_ Of course, it was a given that not every individual within Wammy's Orphanage enjoyed my being there. I knew there were some individuals who strongly disliked me. Whether they said anything to me or not, I knew which individuals distrusted and disliked my being there. I found it strange how some people saw being disliked as unnerving and shameful. Knowing that I was disliked only proved my existence as being human. I guess that was the interesting thing about diversity; there was never a dull moment when it came to the actions, thoughts, and choices of others._

_ "Good afternoon," I greeted evenly while being hunched over in my usual stance. "There appears to be a 94% __chance of possible hostility in the air, hm?"_

_ A seemed to perk up at my presence, along with Q. A small smile crossed the redhead's face when I spoke up. DL jerked around, not expecting me to show up beside the table at that time. Beyond merely turned his head, giving me a grave look while his red eyes staring up at me, almost as if he were searching for something._

_ "Welcome, L," Q greeted kindly. "Are you joining us today for lunch, or do you have more work to finish? Watari and Roger always seem to give you more and more work theses days."_

_ I gave a short nod and placed my thumb comfortably against my bottom lip. "Yes, I do have work," I told them honestly. "However, I would not mind joining your group for lunch if you were offering, Q."_

_ A's smile grew, and he nodded. "We all have work, L. We all need a break every once and awhile. You should join us." Gesturing to the open seat across from him, A finished, "You could sit there if you like."_

_ I distinctly remember a warm, strangely happy feeling rolling inside me when A smiled at me. The more A smiled, the more the strange content feeling seemed to grow. Although I was going to take that chosen seat either way, I turned my attention towards Beyond. "Will Beyond abject to my being here?"_

_ Beyond smirked, his red eyes still locked on me. "I cannot assure you that you will bypass the ninety-four percent of hostility that lingers in the air, Ellie, but if that doesn't bother you, feel free to join us."_

_ A smile formed on my face, and I nodded. "Good afternoon to you too, Beyond."_

_ I knew very well that Beyond's jokes towards A would cease the moment I sat down at the table. It seemed that Beyond didn't feel comfortable in being hostile with A and Q while I was there. That was mostly because Beyond knew I would stick up for A no matter what. Although some days, he wouldn't care if I was there or not and would continue to poke fun at the redhead._

Looking back on those beginning adolescent days at the orphanage, a smile formed on L's face. Everything seemed to be peaceful back then. The relationships between A, Q, Beyond, DL, and L was light, peaceful, and friendly back then. Besides the occasional jokes and stabs from Beyond to A, everyone seemed to decently get along.

L pushed back Beyond's picture for a moment, a frown quickly replacing the smile. He remembered how everything began to gradually change as time went on. _Everyone changes....Change is inevitable, but even in saying that...could we have changed it in another way?_ A strong remorse took hold of L, deepening the hollowness within the detective's dark eyes. The more he remembered the changes, the sadder he became.

_Everyone changed. More and more work devoured me as I grew closer to becoming the detective I am today. Beyond's and A's relationship with each other twisted tighter and tighter with enmity until it broke. It would seem that Beyond, A, and I were all a part of one thread. Maybe we could have all lived peacefully with one another on that thread, but we let the string get tied too tightly. We all let the string twist and tighten. It tightened so much that we suffocated each other, and now there is only room for one of us on that thread. One of us has already been smothered by this rope. Two of us remain, but only one of us will survive._

L's eyes roamed over the picture until he locked his eyes with the familiar, red pools. The detective removed his thumb away from his lips and placed both of his hands on the desk as he allowed his mind to continue to roam. He had already allowed his thoughts to travel away from his work, and there was no point in stopping it now, since if any open questions were left, they would only draw his mind away from his work again.

_Did you know this would happen? Did you see from the very beginning that all three of us would struggle with such intensity that we could not survive together as a whole? Maybe you were the only one who knew there would only be one victor....I know I never knew when I was at the orphanage....I never saw it coming until it was too late._

L's eyes drifted from the photograph for a moment to stare at the many, silver cabinets that were filled with files and folders which were all sorted in alphabetical order. His eyes lingered over to beginning of the cabinets where the files began. A sadness tugged at his heart for every second his attention remained on the silver cabinets. He turned his head away and picked up Beyond's picture. He paused before placing the picture away within the folder again. _You knew. I know you realized it, Beyond. Was it that reason alone you were so disdainful and malevolent?_

L sighed and gently shook his head. _I can clearly see how I was oblivious to what was happening to the string we were all tied on. I was too smothered by—_.

"Ryuzaki?"

The hollowness quickly left L's eyes as he abruptly jerked his head up and around to face the approacher. The detective's wide eyes stared directly into Light's honey-brown pools. L watched as Light's own eyes widened from seeing the shock within the detective's eyes. It wasn't everyday Light saw the man's guard down and emotions freely showing. It was clear to Light that something was bothering L enough to bring his distrusting wall down for a moment.

Although L still appeared to be a bit shaken, his voice was even and steady as it always was. "Yes, Light?"

Light frowned, and he gazed from L to the files on the desk to the photograph in L's hands to back to L's dark eyes. "Is everything all right?" Light and L's eyes locked with one another. A hardness seemed to show in Light's eyes as he studied the detective's hollow voids. L easily knew why the hardness was there, and what Light was picking at. _He knows something is wrong. There's a 93% chance he's wondering if I'm going to lie to face or not._

L placed the picture back within the folder and turned his attention away from Light, wanting to peacefully go back to his work, even though he knew it wasn't likely that would happen. With his mind still foggy, L reasonably and honestly told Light with a sigh, "I'm just tired." After stating this, L's onyx orbs rolled over to observe Light's reaction; he wanted to see if Light was going to accuse him of lying or try to pry further into L's thoughts.

Neither of the two happened. Although Light's weary, facial expression didn't change, Light seemed to accept the vague answer. While gesturing towards the abandoned cupcake on L's desk, Light chose the seat next to L at the computers. It was at this point L noted that Light was carrying a plastic, shopping bag. After setting the plastic bag onto the desk, Light asked casually, "Upset stomach?"

Mentally, L raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement at Light's choice of words. _So he is trying to pry into my thoughts._ L's dark eyes that went from hollow to alert, thanks to Light being there, glanced over at the untouched, strawberry cupcake to back to Light. "It would appear that the graveness of today's investigation work has blocked out my desires to consume any sweets."

L's observing eyes caught the slight frown that took hold of Light for a moment before the younger man gave a small smile and shrug. "I have to admit, L, that I'm surprised that you'd let anything come in the way of you and desserts."

Now all indications of irritation or dislike at L's vagueness disappeared from Light as he moved his hands forward to the plastic bag. "It's a shame not to eat any sweets on the last day of October, a holiday." L picked up on the fact that Light didn't indicate whether he was speaking about Halloween or L's birthday. This way, if L chose to say he didn't celebrate his birthday, the possible gift could be for Halloween. If L chose to say he didn't celebrate Halloween, the gift would be for his birthday. To say that L didn't celebrate Halloween or his birthday would almost be a direct indication that L was deliberately trying to abject Light's gift.

Basically, L was going to have to accept whatever was in the plastic bag.

L's dark eyes widened at what he saw Light lift from the bag. In Light's hands was an individual sized, chocolate cake with milk chocolate icing and extra dark chocolate and white chocolate shavings sprinkled over the top of the cake. Light placed the store bought cake in front of L, placing it right on top of the files; a direct indication that Light wasn't going to let L decline the present. Although, L wouldn't think about refusing it.

Light then leaned back in his chair and comfortably crossed his arms as he watched the detective's reaction carefully, trying to decide how L would respond to the gift. "It's actually a marble cake. I was sure even you would find chocolate bitter after so much of it."

L placed his thumb on his lips as he continued to stare at the cake that was placed in front of him. Although his facial expression remained neutral, his eyes hungrily examined the dessert. "I do not find chocolate bitter, Light, but—."

"And that's why I got a dark chocolate and white chocolate marble cake." A triumphant smirk formed on Light's face as he continued, "After thinking about it in the store, I figured you'd say something similar to that. Although I find chocolate bitter after so much of it, I finally decided that you wouldn't mind it as much. However, if you found one chocolate to be too plain, the other chocolates should contrast the tastes."

L removed his thumb from his mouth and allowed a smile to pull at the sides of his lips. He turned in his chair to give Light his full attention momentarily. L let his smile become a half smile, half smirk before noting aloud, "Light is awfully generous, even for a holiday. It also seems Light is very instant that I eat this cake."

Light's proud smile almost instantly turned into an irritated frown. His eyebrows lightly pressed down against his eyelids. "I didn't poison it if that's what you're trying to say," Light told him shortly.

"I never accused you to have done such an act. I was only stating how much generosity your personality has. Hmm. Does Light have a guilty conscience?"

"Guilty conscience? You're the one with paranoid thoughts! Hinting that I'm trying to poison you suggests that I'm trying to kill you. In saying that you think that I'm trying to kill you tells me that you still believe I'm Kira! I am _not_ Kira!"

"Again you are the one who brought up Kira," L told him.

Light let out a grunt of frustration, unfolded and refolded his arms. L half expected the younger man to send a punch his way, maybe even try to give L a black eye that would last for a week. However, Light did not resort to violence and only sat there with his arms crossed. L guessed he was probably trying to decide whether he should take the cake back, start working on the crime case, or head back home.

"It's always a good idea to take precautions, Light," L commented casually.

"I'll take a piece if that would relax your paranoia," Light offered, irritation still in his voice.

L gave a short nod. Light sighed and moved forward to take the cake and place it in front of him. He took off the plastic lid that covered the cake and took the plates and plastic eating utensils out of the plastic bag. Almost as soon as he began to cut himself a piece, Light paused. He looked over at L and asked defensively, "Wait. Are you going to interrogate me about what piece I take?"

"Does Light really want me to answer this?" L asked with a small, hidden smile that went unnoticed by Light. The twenty year old rolled his eyes and continued to cut his desired, small piece. "In that case, forget I asked," Light commented under his breath as he placed the slice of cake onto one of the red, plastic plates.

While pushing the chocolate cake back over to L, the detective lifted his gaze to stare at Light. It didn't take long for Light's honey-brown eyes to meet L's gaze. A small smile—one of L's true smiles at that pressed against L's lips, causing a light of curiosity to brighten Light's eyes. L murmured quietly with gratitude, "Thank you, Light."

L admitted that Light's appearance made L's mind not drift off to unwanted subjects. Light's being there helped L not think about Beyond, his past, or the case. After working on the case all day and having his thoughts drift off numerous times, this conversation and present relieved L's wondering mind of the stress. Also, L really was grateful for the cake even though he didn't show it very well. Although L's trust ran thin, he was glad his only friend remembered and wished to celebrate L's birthday (L was positive that Light wouldn't go through the trouble of buying this cake for a simple holiday such as Halloween).

The frustration and irritation left Light's face, and he smiled. While handing L a plate and eating utensils, Light replied, "You're welcome."

* * *

:D

Flashback to L's past! Tehehe!!

And yay for fluffy, cake scene with L and Light. ^ ^

Oh! And are you guys mad at me because this chapter isn't doesn't have Near in it.

Audience: WHAT HAPPENED TO NEAR!! D: *is forming an angry mob*  
Me: You'll see how he's doing in the next chapter. ^ ^; Please don't kill me. *tosses cupcakes to everyone*

Please review! :D


	11. Chapter 10: Emotions

A/N: Please don't hurt me!!!!  
D:

Okay....It's been 2 months and a week since I've updated.  
OTL

I'm really sorry you guys! I really am! I really wanted to get this chapter done quicker, but it didn't happen.

I would like to say that I'll be back on schedule with the updating, but I'm swamped with school work so BLAR.  
: (

I will do my best, however, to keep you guys updated with where I am on the chapter making. (Just check my profile for notes and updates from me. Also, if you have any concerns on my updating, you can always just PM me. I _am_ reachable. Lol)

Oh and I'm very sorry about the error in this story. Hahaha.

I know there isn't Thanksgiving in Japan/England, but there will be in this story! Thanksgiving/autumn season plays an important part within this story, so it's staying (Ooooo! Spoiler? Lol. Maybe).  
So please don't mention this to me because I already know. Lol.  
^ ^;;

Also, I know I said that Near was going to be in this chapter, and I thought he was, but this chapter ended up not being what I originally planned. Everything that I wrote in this current chapter was originally only suppose to take up a small bit. While writing it, it turned into something more, and I realized that it was probably needed. Therefore...Near, Mello, and Matt are going to be in the _next_ chapter! XD

I also hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day (and Christmas & New Years...OTL)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story is mine.

* * *

While finishing the last bits of a chocolate chip cookie, L shut down the computer systems within the headquarters. Being hardwired into the program that L manually composed, the entire system would go on lock down once it was shut off properly. This program trait was to keep information secure and safe, and of course, only L and Watari knew how to reboot the computer systems. It would take someone of L's intelligence standard to reboot the computer or break into it.

However, this method of shutting everything down wasn't used all too often. L only ensured the computers were secure when he left out of the country. Sure, his headquarters was already in a secret location, had special security checks before you could get into the headquarters, and even had an unique protection within the computer systems to keep hackers stumped, but when it came to L, one can never be too safe.

"Will you be requiring a snack for the plane trip?" Watari stepped slightly into the room but remained partly in the kitchen area. The older man stood within the doorway of the main, headquarters's room and the kitchen as he waited for L to answer him. Although Watari was sure the answer was going to be a yes, it was a comfortable habit for him to ask the detective in this way; it just seemed more generous and kindhearted.

L turned to face Watari and lifted his hand to press the pad of his thumb against his bottom lip. He pondered for a minute before replying, "Yes, I would like to have some suckers on this trip."

"What kinds?"

A light flickered in the detective's eyes before answering almost childishly, "Two of each kind."

Watari gave a small nod and a smile. "Very well." The older man then turned and headed back into the kitchen. Being that this was _L's_ headquarters, the kitchen was stocked up with mostly junk food. When on the Kira case, the supplies were a mixture of sweets, fruits, and healthy foods, since not everyone had the same kind of unusual diet that L had. Now, being back to how it usually was with only L and Watari being within the headquarters, the fridge was stocked up with sweets and fruits, as were the containers on the counters. Yes, L wasn't working alone on this new case, but Light had not yet pulled an all-nighter with the BB Jailbreak case, and Watari had his own personal fridge within his quarters. The reason Light had not pulled an all-nighter yet was because neither Light or L wanted Soichiro Yagami—a former member of the Kira case—to realize that there was another case at hand. Although, L wondered how long it would be before Light would have to start doing work all night because of the gravity of the case.

Stepping back out of the kitchen and into the main room, Watari reminded the detective, "It's going to be a bit chilly, L. Would you like me to retrieve you a light jacket?"

L shook his head, declining the offer. "No thank you, Watari. The long sleeved shirt I'm wearing will be fine." While taking a few steps towards the main doors, L asked, "We'll be arriving in Winchester, England at 3:20 if we leave within the next forty-five minutes?"  
"Correct. Are you ready to depart?"

L nodded, and in his usual, slouched stance, he continued towards the main entrance until he was standing near the doorway. Today, L was to be departing to Wammy's Orphanage. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and L decided that it would be best if he were to visit the orphanage for that holiday because, due to the most recent case, L doubted he'd find time again around the Christmas holiday to venture back up to England. Although L didn't want to take a particular thought from the back of his mind and drag it to the front, the urge to go to the orphanage was stronger that day than usual. Thanksgiving held more meaning to L than he wanted to admit, and it was the power of that meaning that made L not want to visit Wammy's Orphanage on actual Thanksgiving Day.

A red light near the monitors that rested above the main entrance of the headquarters suddenly blinked on, declaring that there was someone currently on screen. L, who remained in his usual slouch, awkwardly tilted his head upward to stare up at the screen. His thumb pressed against his bottom lip as his onyx eyes roamed over the monitor. A familiar brown-haired, young man who was going through the headquarter security was shown on the screen.

"Ah. Looks like Light Yagami has decided to come in today," Watari observed as he neared the front of the headquarters while stuffing lollipops into his coat pockets.

In an even voice, L confirmed, "So it seems." Although the chances of running into Light today weren't exactly low, it was still slightly unfortunate that the detective and the young man were to cross paths on the day of L's departure for his one day trip.

As soon as Light entered the building, he paused in the doorway for a slight moment. His eyes were instantly on the two of them, noting that it appeared that they were both about to leave for something. Light's honey-brown eyes searched L's dark, observing eyes as he approached the detective. The two of them stood in a small moment of silence. The short silence from L and the frown that had formed on Light's face indicated that they both realized that it was likely that nothing good would come out of the next conversation.

Watari was actually the first to speak, not wanting the silence to drag on to uneasy levels. "Ah. Good afternoon, Light. Good to see you."

An even smile was smoothly pushed onto Light's features as he greeted the caretaker. "Good afternoon to you too, Watari, L."

Without moving in the slightest or giving any gestures such as a small nod of acknowledgement, L blandly greeted, "Afternoon, Light."

Shouldering off L's monotone greeting, Light directed his attention straight at L as he noted aloud, "Are you going to run some errands around the city? It looks like you and Watari are heading out somewhere. If that's the case, my guess is that you'll be back in a few hours?"

L quoted, "If that's the case, Light? Do you not think I'm running a few, casual errands?"

"No, I don't," Light boldly stated, tilting his head upward a little as if gazing at the detective from this angle would help him see into L's thoughts. "If there were just a few errands, Watari would have gone to complete them alone. With a case at hand, you usually won't budge from that computer chair until you absolutely have to! You hardly sleep and only give yourself breaks on a holiday when forced by another. Taking a day off on the day before a holiday just doesn't characteristically fit you, L."

L finally began to look less statue appearing and leaned his weight to one side as he corrected in a falsely innocent tone, "Not forced, Light. Persuaded."

Light lightly narrowed his eyes in annoyance before bitterly reminding the detective, "Let's not evaluate whether or not I know your daily habits, L, because I _do_ know your habits. Do I have to remind you that I was chained to you on the Kira case?!"

L placed both hands lightly into his pockets, his thumbs inside the material while the rest of his hands hung out loosely while he stood. "You don't have to get defensive, Light. I wasn't challenging your knowledge on myself," L then paused for a moment before adding, "nor was I planning to bring up the Kira case."

Giving L a skeptical gaze, Light did not believing that L wouldn't bring up the previous case and jab more accusations at the younger man about how Light was somehow Kira or helped Kira in some way. Before Light could object to L's words, the detective vaguely confirmed, "No, I'm not running casual errands, however I plan to be back before eleven tonight. You may continue to work on the case here if you like. I can turn the computer systems back on."

Light's stance remained rigid and on the edge, even though L had already stated that he didn't plan on accusing him of being Kira again. The younger man glanced over at the computers that were across the room before directing his attention back to the black-haired detective. Curiously searching for more information as to where L was heading off to, Light casually commented, "So I take it you won't be working on the case while you're gone."

"I never said I wouldn't be working on the case, Light," L reminded.

Light observed aloud, "You never said you would. It's the fact that you didn't directly state you were going to do research on the case or anything pertaining to the case says in itself that you're doing something outside of it."

At Light's assumption, L didn't back down from the conversation. "You never asked where I was going or what I would be doing. You only went about accusing me of not doing anything productive to the case." Although L didn't sound sorrowful or emotionally harmed in the least bit, L stated at the end, "I'm hurt."

Those sentences only caused Light to be more annoyed, and the last sarcastic statement made the young man become irritated. The irritation was lightly shown in his voice as Light defended himself, "I did ask you where you were going."

"You didn't ask where I was going, you asked if I was going to run errands around the city. As soon as I declined your question, you immediately assumed that I wasn't doing anything for the case."

"If it was research for the case, it would be best to gather information with two perspectives instead of one. If it was for the case, you would have asked me to join you, or would have at least told me where you were going ahead of time, or as soon as I entered the building." Light then added more slowly, "Unless there was a particular reason you didn't want me to assist you."

"Again, Light, you assumed instead of question me directly."

A huff for frustration escaped Light's throat. While slightly shaking his head in frustration, he closed his eyes and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Dejectedly, Light asked plainly, "Where are you going, L?"

L gazed away from Light for a moment to gaze over at the computer desk and then the filing cabinets. He shifted his weight once before lifting one of his hands up to place his thumb against his lip again in habit. As his mind wondered off for a moment, L realized that he truthfully didn't want to tell Light where he was going. Maybe it was because in the back of L's mind, he knew that the main reason for him going to the orphanage didn't have anything to do with the BB Jailbreak Case. This unusual detail itself even brought L's own mood spiraling down if he thought too much about it. This current conversation with Light was causing L to come to understanding with this detail more and more, which brought his mood sharply down.

Finally, L answered, "Watari and I are going to Wammy's Orphanage."

The detective's answer caused Light's eyes to reopen and turn his attention back to L. The younger man's honey-brown eyes search the detective for a moment before responding. Light was putting thoughts together as he rolled over this new piece of information. The brown-haired man frowned. "And this doesn't have anything pertaining to the case?"

"I never said it didn't, Light."

Light sighed before rolling over more thoughts and possibilities that roamed in his mind. _So L's going to Wammy's Orphanage—where he and Beyond Birthday once attended. Whether it pertained to the case or not, why wouldn't he want me going there? It's obvious that he still doesn't trust me with most things, but....Wait. He'd have to have a reason to not __trust me going to the orphanage. His successors are also there. Is that why he doesn't want me going there? Is there another reason?_

Either way, Light responded with a new frustration that he tried to hide, "You don't trust me."

"Hmm?" L turned his attention back to Light. His eyes seemed more alert, as if he didn't expect the younger man to answer back in that way. If he did expect Light to say that, L didn't want him to. Was it a subject L didn't want to bring up?

Light's eyes narrowed in irritation, knowing that the detective heard and understood what he had just stated. The man repeated, "You don't trust me." Light's voice ascended as he continued, "If you trusted me, I would be coming along with you. Both us know Wammy's Orphanage is where Beyond use to reside and that going there might be helpful in moving forward in this case."

It was frustrating for Light to know that L didn't trust him. Whether L realized it or not, Light wanted their friendship and relationship to progress forward, not fall backwards. Trust was a solid factor in any type of relationship, and if they didn't trust each other, their relationship would become not progressive or degrade slowly.

L frowned and moved his gaze away for a small moment. It was almost as if the detective was annoyed with the man's reasoning, or at least that's what Light made out of that gesture. It wasn't entirely impossible that L was irritable at Light's deductions, considering that L hated losing, even in a verbal debate. "It would be pointless for you to come along. I—."

Before L could finish his thoughts, Light was sent off the deep end. His voice sharply escalated as fury began to bubble inside of him. "Pointless?!" Light took a threatening step towards the detective. His hands reached forward to roughly grasp the collar of L's shirt tightly. L, in reflex, jerked his head towards Light, but he didn't show any signs of surprise in them. In fact, he didn't show much emotion at the moment. It was as if he were shielding something from the younger man.

"Are you saying it would be pointless because you believe I'm a dishonest person?! Do you think I'd try to take some sick advantage over the situation while I was there?!" Light finally bitterly exclaimed, "It's not _me_ that's against you, L! It's you that's against the world!"

_He's so stubborn! He thinks he has to be right about _everything_!_ The irony of the situation was L's direct, uncaring nature usually caused Light irritation and annoyance, but now when the detective wasn't being straight forward with his opinions and thoughts, it drove Light up a wall. Light then grinded out, "If you don't trust me at all, why don't you just say it?!"

L stared directly at Light, leaving the younger man's honey-brown eyes to search the detective's onyx voids. The detective's body became less tense, slacking in L's tightened fists. Emotion flickered across L again, this time freer than the moments before. Truth shone in L's dark pools, causing Light to lean on the edge. The younger man impatiently waited for the response with frustration and curiosity at L's sudden change. Although, L didn't change as much externally as his voice did.

There was an uneasy moment of silence before the detective responded to Light's outburst. In a low, even voice L replied in a hurt tone, "If I didn't trust you at all, you wouldn't be working on this case with me."

Light's eyes widened as his mind blanked for a moment. All he could do was search L's dark eyes that seemed to be darkened even more by a mixture of several emotions. Light tried to search for what they all meant, but the only one he could distinctly recognize was the truthfulness that shaded them. Light's expression softened as did his grip on L's shirt collar. He completely released the detective and took a step back. For a moment, Light wanted to apologize on his brash behavior, but it wouldn't have made a difference. He couldn't turn around and take back his words, especially considering that he meant every word. He really did believe that L didn't trust him. Now, Light knew it was true that L didn't fully trust him, but Light now realized that L trusted him to at least some degree.

'_With me'_. L didn't say 'working on this case'. The fact that L added that last part created a new effect on the whole atmosphere. Little details like this wouldn't affect the average person, but considering that L and Light weren't average individuals, every detail of a conversation meant something. Those last words formed a silent pact between them. It meant that they were both working together on this; they had started this together, so they were going to end this together. In saying that, L wasn't about to boot Light off the case over a trust issue. He had already accepted Light's aid at the beginning, even when L didn't completely trusted the man.

In a softer tone, Light said offhandedly, "So you're going to be back before eleven?"

L didn't bother straightening out his shirt after Light let go of him. He readjusted himself into his comfortable, spine bending stance before giving a short nod. "Yes, I'll be back before eleven. I take it that you won't be coming in tomorrow to work, since it's a holiday."

"You're right. I won't be coming in tomorrow to work." Light paused to smile before finishing, "I will probably come in for a bit for the holiday though."

"For someone of your standing, won't that be a bit off of your schedule? I'm sure you have multiple plans for tomorrow," L replied.

"I do have a lot of plans, but they're flexible. Besides," Light friendly added, "we're friends. You said so yourself before, and friends accompany each other on holidays if they can find the time. I can find the time if you want the company."

L's lips gently twitched upward in a soft smile for a moment. "I would appreciate the company, Light, but I assure you that I will be working on the case during your visit to make up for lost time today."

Light gave a small chuckle. "I expected that much."

"Do wish for the computers to be turned back on while I'm away?"

Light frowned for a moment as he debated whether or not he wished to stay and work until L got back. His best guess was that if he were to start working, he'd have to wait until L got back to stop. Light didn't believe L wanted Light to leave the computers running and unattended while L was away. Light knew that there was some kind of security, shut down, and after the slight argument they just had, Light wasn't going to ask L for the security code and method of closing the system down.

"Do you have a more definite time of when you'll be arriving back here?"

Almost without a second thought, L answered, "9:45." He paused before adding, "Or 10:30. There's a 53% chance that I'll get hung up at the orphanage." He paused again, shook his head, and corrected himself, "No, it's more of a 67% chance that I'll find myself staying longer at the orphanage, so I'll most likely be arriving back close to 10:30."

For another time that afternoon, Light pondered what L was possibly going to be doing. This time, however, the man didn't wonder why L was going to the orphanage but wondered what the after effects of the trip would be and the immediate effects. _L said before that this was a personal case. He didn't mean that he simply wanted to work on this case alone. No, he truly meant this case was tied with him in some way....If he's not working on the case while going to the orphanage, it's for an emotional reason. Is he going to relieve some of his stirring feelings?_ Light mentally sighed. _That's the one thing I've never been sure of: L's emotions. His general thoughts and thinking process I can understand to a certain level, but his feelings are entirely different._

_ If I were going somewhere to relieve my feelings for work, I would probably find myself more stressed when I came back...._In thinking that, Light decided, "All right. I'll stay and work on the case until you get back."

L didn't seem to respond too much to Light's answer. He seemed partially pleased that Light was going to stay behind to work on the BB Jailbreak Case, but it seemed that his mind was off in another place. L gave a small nod and a short, "Very well."

_What if it isn't just to relieve stress? Why would L go to Wammy's House and not work on the case? Does he plan on working on it in some indirect way? No, that doesn't seem to be it....It's times like this that I wish I knew what he was thinking._ As much as Light wanted to pop random questions at the detective, he decided to not say anything at all as they ventured towards the computers. Besides, Light was sure he had said enough earlier. The silence between them now would save both of them the stress.

Making their way to the computers, L and Light passed by Watari, who had sat down in one of the chairs within the room during the middle of the two man's conversation after realizing that the slight argument would probably last longer than he wanted it to. Even though negative emotions had been striking between Light and L, Watari luckily seemed to be unaffected by it. However, Light never really knew how the senior felt or what he thought. The only person who seemed to really know was L himself.

While following L to the computers and noticing how there seemed to be a slight hesitation in his strides, Light couldn't help but feel sympathy. No, not pity. Sympathy. Pity was when someone felt a random act of compassion towards someone or some subject that they don't usually feel or think about. Pity is usually compassion on an unknown, unrecognized, or unfamiliar being. Pity is when someone sees an elderly lady fumbling with grocery bags in her frail arms. Pity is when someone sees a five year old girl drop her newly bought chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream on the pavement after just buying it.

However, sympathy was an entirely different story. Sympathy, more times than none, is felt on those a person knows well or cares about. Sympathy is feeling what a person is going through _and_ wanting to understand it—to want to possibly comfort this victim in some way.

Sympathy: that is what Light Yagami felt for L. He wanted to know what the man was thinking, not because he wanted to think of L as weak, but because Light truly cared. Yes, Light Yagami, who had been repeatedly accused by L of being a heinous wretch who slaughtered hundreds of people and had some of his own humanly rights stolen away from him by this man, cared—cared about L.

Was it because of friendship? Did Light feel this sympathy for L because of their friendship alone? Perhaps it was friendship. Friendship would explain not only the sympathy but the way they conversed with each other with respect. It would explain why Light felt comfortable during this current case than the last one, considering that the team only consisted of himself and L. It even explained why Light decided to confront L and ask to join a case that he didn't have any business with originally. The fact that L allowed Light to work on the personal case with him showed that the detective also held this friendship bond with Light.

Strangely enough, Light did not mind bringing up the fact to himself that friendship alone didn't explain everything. Friendship didn't explain why Light wanted to have off topic conversations that were trustful, true, completely relaxed, and personal—not the logical or formal conversations they shared. Friendship didn't explain why Light felt oddly fascinated by the way L's thumb pressed gently against his lips, warmly humored when L lightly covered his words with sarcasm that went unseen by most people, and drawn into the shadows of the man's onyx eyes. Plus, Light knew for sure that friendship did not explain why Light wanted to sincerely ask L about his current, more personal thoughts, comfort him, lie beside him and talk of one subject to another until they crashed or until dawn....All in all, when Light said he cared, he meant it.

Moreover, this was probably why Light always found himself questioning L's motives, thoughts, opinions, and actions. Sometimes, Light felt like he had to hold back his entire opinion on different subjects because of the fear that some kind of hint about how Light felt about L would seep through accidentally. Recently, Light found himself mentally questioning the man with anxiety, and this was probably the reason why Light felt edgier than usual around L. However, Light didn't think he was the only one who seemed a bit off. Because of the distrustful factor, Light wondered if that was one reason why L also seemed more emotional that usual. It was probably already hard enough for him because of the case, but being around someone who he didn't completely trust would probably be a contributing factor to his emotional shifts. Therefore, both L and Light were more fickle with their emotions than usual.

Recently, these thoughts had occurred in Light's mind more often. Against his own mind, Light would sometimes find himself offhandedly thinking about the wild haired man—thinking about the man in ways Light knew he probably shouldn't. Thoughts like these could only lead to disappointment and psychological injury. Especially at times like this when things were appearing grim, having feelings for L would only cause more problems between the two of them. At the moment, more issues between L and Light were the last things they needed on this case. If Light brought these feelings up and if they found themselves unable to get along after that, the case could fail. Light most certainly didn't want to be the cause of a failed case because of these personal emotions he felt.

"There you go, and I expect that you'll be here until I get back tonight?"

Light's eyes widened slightly at being awaken from his thoughts; he wasn't sure if L caught the slight change, but he hoped that the man didn't notice. Light mentally rolled his eyes at himself. _Of course L noticed._ He degraded any hope that L suddenly didn't notice something that Light did, especially since they were standing fairly closely. Light then internally smacked himself upside the head. _What would it matter if he noticed or not? I could just be thinking about tomorrow's holiday plans. Why should I be tense or worried about being caught in thought?!_

It was frustrating being caught within his thoughts. Events like this had been happening more often than usual. Most of the time, Light was lost in thought thinking about the detective or some subject that involved L. It didn't matter that L probably didn't know that Light's thoughts were on him. It didn't matter because it _always_ felt like L knew exactly what Light was thinking. Sure, L generally knew what Light was thinking on a daily basis, but Light seemed more exposed now. The more Light thought of L, the more exposed he felt.

Was it normal? Was it normal to feel uncharacteristically exposed around someone you had feelings for? Light hadn't crushed on someone in so long, he couldn't remember what would be considered normal. It was hard enough to tell what was natural or not since L and Light's situation was far from the average, _normal_ person.

Although anxiety flickered in his mind, Light replied back in his usual tone with a friendly smile on his face. "I'll be working on the case until you get back, Ryuzaki."

L stood still for a moment as his shadowed eyes searched Light for a moment. The unexpected silence caused Light's insides to tense up, his nerves pinching tighter and tighter with every passing moment of dead silence. Light instantly began rummaging through thoughts and events of their conversation to try to locate if Light might have said anything that would have been misplaced. Even for a second, Light wondered if L suddenly grew some sort of supernatural power, reached into his mind, realized what Light had been thinking, was now disgusted, and didn't know what action to take. Well, that thought only passed through his mind for a _second_, but the anxiety still remained within the pit of Light's stomach.

L calmly reached up and placed his thumb against his lip again as he stared into Light's honey-brown eyes that probably showed a bit of his nervousness. The slouched man dipped his head down for a moment and nibbled on the nail of his thumb. It looked like he was pondering what and how to say his thoughts. In a quiet, almost inaudible voice, L corrected, "L." There was a small pause that left Light in confusion for a moment, wondering why L had commented. The detective then tilted his head back up to stare back into Light's eyes. "Please don't address me as Ryuzaki....It's too formal."

Bewildered by the sudden occurrence, Light could feel his heart beating heavier in his chest than usual; he couldn't seem to control his anxiety now. From experience, Light knew that L always had a reason behind his actions. What were his actions now? What did he want to gain from this? Did he accomplish anything from this? Why would he say that?

Almost as if L had read Light's thought process, L continued in the same, low voice, "You already said we were friends, Light. Considering that we haven't gone out in public for research on this case, there's no reason for you to call me Ryuzaki."

With that in mind, Light found himself at a loss for words. He blinked at the detective in a mixture of realization, surprise, and contentness. Although L was distrustful of Light to some degrees, he was trying to be trustful of Light. The fact that L wanted to be addressed by his more common title than the other alias showed that L wanted to be more trustful of Light not for the case's sake but because he wanted to be Light's friend. No, he already said that he was Light's friend. This action showed that L wanted their friendship to grow closer instead of remain immobile. That thought alone caused a happiness to swirl within Light.

A smile spread across Light's lips when he finally found himself able to answer L's words. Light then corrected himself in agreement to L's words. "I'll be here when you get back, L." Light repeated those same words in his head, silently promising something. Light felt he wasn't just promising that he'd be back at headquarters so the computers and the building would be safe, but he was promising something more. Those words seemed to hold an authority over him. Light was more so promising that he wouldn't flee from this case—this battle—this war that was raging on. No matter how rough things got either between the two of them or between them and BB Jailbreak Case, Light would remain by L's side until the war ended; he wasn't going to back out for whatever reason. The fact that Light cared so much was a driving factor in this promise; he'd stay because he greatly cared about L.

Was he blowing this statement a little out of proportion? Perhaps. However, Light wouldn't have been able to stop himself even if he did want to. Light wasn't sure when it happened or even how, but he had fallen; these feelings that had gradually built up over time weren't about to abruptly disappear. It was still a foreign feeling that Light had fallen for a man—and that man being _L _nonetheless—but it had happened. There was no use in denying the truth because even if denied, the truth would still be existent. This statement—the hidden promise—was more than it seemed. Did L realize the gravity of Light's statement—the promise that the man had committed to?

Maybe.

* * *

Omg.

I did not just turn Light and L into a slightly fluff couple!

HOLY CRAP! I THINK I DID! LOL

While writing that last part, I couldn't help but think that suddenly their slightly angsty relationship turned slightly fluffy. Hahaha. *shrugs* Oh well.

And yeah....I really hope you guys thought this chapter was at least _decent_. I'm not sure if I like how it came out or not. :/

Oh and I hope the progress in L and Light's relationship doesn't become too abrupt. I'm trying to make it as smooth as possible. ;___;

And oi. I know there's probably a _ton_ of grammatical errors in this chapter! I'm so sorry you guys! I tried! Dx

Anyway....Enough about Light and L! Get on with Near, Matt, and Mello!!! ;P

*throws out heart shape cookies with red and pink sprinkles on them*

Thanks for your patience!

Please review! :3


	12. Chapter 11: Past Haunting The Present

**A/N:** WHAT? AN UPDATE? Lol. Yes, an update. Cx  
Thank you so much for your patience...or impatience. Lol. I'm very sorry about putting Anthem For The Underdog under hiatus, but I was super busy with a lot of things. I'm not sure when the next chapter of AFTU is going to be written and posted, but I hope you guys will enjoy this long, awaited chapter. ^ ^ It's the longest chapter so far...I told you guys this chapter was going to have a lot going on in it! Jeez! Hahaha!

I can't help thinking though...I hope you guys like my writing style. o_o Lol. Maybe it's because I was reading some FF stories lately and realized how my style really differs from those I've read. ^ ^;; I just hope that's a good thing. Haha. Anyhow, enjoy the long awaited chapter! :D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Death Note Characters. However, this story and Q, my OC character, is mine.

* * *

A chilled breeze gently caused the trees to sway. Leaves of copper, gold, and sorrel flipped in the changing wind as they strongly held onto the arms of the trees. The air was cool, and although it was warm enough to be without a jacket, the wind kept the atmosphere slightly tense. Above the detective, a pale blue sky remained deathly still and cloudlessly barren. An emotionless expression rested on his features as he tilted his head up to peer at the silent heavens.

Standing alone, the man stood in front of a black, iron gate that separated himself from Wammy's Orphanage. At the end of the gate, the vertical, iron bars met faded, coral bricks that enclosed the property of the orphanage. L's dark eyes rolled over to the left side of the brick fence and fell onto a silver plack that appeared to be made more out of tin than steel. The plack boldly stated: Wammy's Institution For Gifted Children. The name itself told everyone that Wammy's House was more than just an orphanage. Not every child at the institution was an orphan, but unfortunately, most of them were. Then below the name it stated when the orphanage was founded, and below that it informed those that Watari had been the one to construct the facility.

A soft smile pressed against L's features when his eyes rolled over the name Quillsh Wammy, Watari's true name. It reminded L how confidentiality wasn't needed back when Wammy's Orphanage was first constructed, and it also caused a warm feeling of relief and thankfulness that Watari had survived through the Kira era. L, at one point, asked Watari if he wanted to have his named removed off of the plack, but the senior had declined the offer. The man had wanted to keep his real name on the outside of Wammy's House because he was stubborn enough to hold his identity at the facility; he considered Wammy's House worth dying for. The smile on L's face widened at that thought before his facial expression slipped back to an unreadable mask.

Tilting his head back up again to stare at the barren plain above, the wind brushed over the detective, flowing through his wild, ebony locks. A single wisp of hair blew into L's face and fell over one of his onyx orbs, but he made no movements to brush it out of the way. Through the solemn man's perspective, the wind seemed to hold a silent melody that called out to his soul and his soul alone. A single, amber leaf broke away from the branch it once lived on and leaped into the breeze. It seem to float there gracefully for a moment before smoothly descending from the sky. Peacefully, the orange leaf rested on L's shoulder, the amber color significantly standing out on L's colorless shirt. L was then awakened from his small trance, and his coal-colored eyes fell on the newcomer that perched on him. As black coals reflected the flame-colored leaf, L realized he was probably going to be visiting the orphanage for longer than he first intended, and he knew that it probably wasn't a good thing his visit would be extended. In fact, it was probably a bad idea for him to be visiting the orphanage in the first place, especially when it was so close to_ that_ particular holiday.

"L!"

The black-haired man gazed towards the iron gate at the sound of his voice being called. A young brunette was running up towards the closed gate, approaching L. The brunette teen was dressed in a maroon and black, striped shirt, khaki pants, and white-and-black sneakers. There was a pair of dark red goggles sitting on the top of his head, and that item alone told L that the individual racing towards him was Matt. The teen's green eyes that resembled large, puppy dog eyes glistened with curiosity and happiness at the detective's arrival at the orphanage.

Although his eyes still darkly glowed with the same mysterious emotion he was feeling earlier, a small smile replaced his neutral look. "Good afternoon, Matt," L greeted in English, his first language. Although he had been speaking Japanese for awhile back in Japan, L still fluently remembered English. Although he only spoke English with Watari and when he was at Wammy's House, he still preferred that language over the others that he knew. Of course, that could be expected since it was his native language, considering that L was indeed British.

The alert expression still shone on the brunette's features, his nonexistent, dog tail wagging happily. "Roger didn't say you'd be coming for the holidays," Matt told the man, showing him that he was glad that L had decided to pop up at the orphanage unexpectedly.

"I never informed Roger that I'd be arriving. This was an unexpected and unplanned visit," L told the teen honestly. In truth, he hadn't decided to go to Wammy's Orphanage until last night. While working on the case, L had found something drawing him in, trying to persuade him to visit the institution. Again, L pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. The reality was that the man truly knew why he had come to Wammy's House that day, but the second truth was that he didn't want to admit those reasons to himself. He didn't want to admit that he really was there at the facility for personal reasons—reasons that hardly pertained to the current case at all.

"Oh." The smile, however, didn't falter from Matt's features. He chuckled, "Did you not want anyone to know you were coming?" The brunette reached up to fidget with the goggles that sat on top of his head, a habit of his. "I can keep a secret." A large, toothy grin stretched across his face as he readjusted his dark red goggles.

L shook his head and put his thumbs in his pant pockets comfortably. With a small smile, L replied, "No. No. That's all right, Matt. I plan on letting everyone know of my arrival here at the orphanage."

The man then turned and casually took a few steps towards the iron gate. Taking one of his hands out of his pockets, he calmly pushed the black gate open and slipped onto the property of the institution. The iron gate shrilled when being opened and closed, but it didn't seem to alert anyone on the outside of Wammy's; the other students were probably too busy playing outside on the chilly Saturday. Since the orphans hadn't been expecting anyone, they wouldn't be paying attention to the sound of the gate opening. They'd probably conclude that the wind was playfully tugging at the iron bars.

Although L was crouched over in his usual—or unusual—standing position, Matt was still a few inches shorter than the black-haired man. The brunette tilted his head up a few degrees so his green eyes could stare directly at the man's facial features. From all of the depressing thoughts and feelings about the BB Jailbreak Case and memories about the Kira Case, the flourishing life in Matt's eyes brought a warm feeling to L's insides, ever so slightly lifting his spirits.

"You've been keeping up with your school work?" L casually questioned the boy.

Matt gave a sheepish smile, quickly remembering a school assignment that he was deliberately putting off that Saturday. It wasn't due until Monday, but he was putting it off nonetheless. Laziness and procrastination were a few things that Matt caved into, and his best friend, Mello, usually commented on it and would remind him of the assignments he was pushing away. Mello knew it, Matt knew, and L knew it. Although Matt was a procrastinator, he wasn't irresponsible. He wasn't the third best student in grades for nothing! Striving to do his best, he worked hard when he did manage to do his work.

Matt nodded quickly, but a sheepish grin still stretched across his face. He began to nervously fidget with his goggles. "Yeah, I've been keeping up with school work."

"Or have you been too busy trying to hack into my computer systems?"

That question completely caught the brunette off guard. He took a single step back, and his emerald eyes widened fearfully. His lower jaw hung open for a moment as his eyes darted around the area, as if something was going to jump out and help him out in this situation. However, nothing ever leaped out to assist him, so he only dipped his head down and drug one of his shoes across the earthy colored rocks of the carved pathway. Knowing he was caught and that there was no way he'd be able to successfully argue his way out of the situation with L, he mumbled guiltily, "Sorry, L."

The man lifted his dominate hand out of his pocket to press the pad of his thumb against his lower lip. His onyx eyes rolled over Matt as he asked calmly, "Might I ask why Matt was purposely trying to break into my computer systems?" The detective knew that the brunette had gone out of his way to particularly search for L's personal systems because even an expert hacker wouldn't just happen to run across it.

"I-I...I...Err," Matt paused for a moment to try to find the right words to explain himself to the respectable man. The teen smiled nervously as he shifted his weight. Finally, he instinctively shrugged and honestly explained, "I just wanted to see if I could."

After saying that, Matt couldn't help but think how foolish those words sounded. Obviously, Matt probably wouldn't be able to successfully hack into computer systems that had a security that _L himself_ had constructed, but it was the truth. If not all the way into the systems, then Matt wanted to see just how far he could get to. Having much more interest in technology than school work, hacking into L's systems was much more of an appealing challenge to him than school assignments.

Matt finally dared to stare up into L's obsidian pools, wanting to see if the man was angry or disappointed in him for trying to invade the man's personal space. However, the moment that Matt lifted his head, a pale hand rested on top of his brunette locks. At the friendly gesture, Matt's green eyes widened. Searching the man's face, Matt didn't find anger or disappointment. Instead, L seemed amused.

"You just wanted to see if you could," L echoed Matt's words. "You saw it as a challenge, I see." Matt nodded at L's observation, causing a the detective to give a small smirk. He moved his thumb across his lip as his thoughts continued to roll over Matt's words and guessing the brunette's thoughts. The man's skinny fingers moved through Matt's cinnamon locks for a moment, ruffling his hair a bit before withdrawing his hand.

For a few seconds that felt like an eternity to Matt, the older man let the teen stand there anxiously for his fate. The curiosity only continued to ascend as his green eyes studied the glint in L's onyx eyes and the light smirk on his lips. Finally, the detective spoke again, "I was surprised that you managed to get that far through the security system."

Not expecting that kind of response at all, Matt's green eyes widened again. "Surprised you?" He couldn't help but echo those words. The fact that L could be surprised about anything seemed unreal and fake. This was probably due to the fact that L, within every student's mind, was almost built up to be some sort of god. Of course, no one would ever consider L to be a god of sorts, but they did admire and respect him to the point to where he could be seen as a high hierarchy. The irony of this was a chain reaction; thinking that L had been surprised only made Matt surprised.

L gave a small nod and internally gave a humored smile at seeing Matt's shocked reaction. Casually and calmly as he was speaking before, L confirmed, "Yes, surprised. You went one step further through the system then I thought you would have."

Large green eyes bewilderedly blinked up at the older man as the gears in his mind slowly began to turn and process the words. As the words began to sink in, Matt couldn't—and didn't even try—to hold back the large, wide grin that spread across his face, stretching from ear to ear. Unable to stop smiling, Matt felt a bit awkward since he was unsure if this was the right emotion that should be showed to the great L. Either way, he didn't hold back his toothy grin, nor the lighthearted chuckles that quickly followed.

Although it wasn't know by many people because L usually kept to himself and didn't confine in or be around others, L was a deceiver to some degrees. He could be seen as a sly liar and cunning trickster. He was shockingly fluent in switching in and out of character if he needed a cover at a certain time or place. If needed, he could show any particular characteristic trait or traits to fool or throw off any individual. This way, L could gain the information he needed to solve a case or to gain ground on one.

If Matt had know this, however, things might have only slightly changed. Slightly? Strangely enough, yes. Although Matt could almost be described as naive and gullible by others, those characteristics didn't describe the gamer. Even though it might not look like it, Matt was actually fairly observant. It was probably an advantage of his that others believed him to be oblivious. This allowed the brunette more ground on observing others because they weren't expecting to be watched.

Now, why would it only be a slight change if Matt knew that L could be a deceiver? It wouldn't change because even though Matt was a careful individual, there were some people he could not avoid being tricked by them. Mello was an example of this. When Mello lied to him on whatever subject, it wasn't that Matt couldn't see that he was lying. Usually, Matt was able to pick up on the lies, but the difference between Mello lying to him and some stranger was that Matt would accept it with Mello. No, he may not accept the lie itself, but he'd accept that Mello was lying to him. He'd guess that Mello had some reason to do this, and if he didn't want to share this with Matt, he wouldn't pry. If it were anyone else, Matt wouldn't accept it.

If L had lied to him, the same thing would have happened. No, Matt wasn't as close to L as he was to Mello, but considering that Matt admired the man spoke for itself. If L wanted Matt to believe he was surprised about Matt's abilities, Matt would leave it at that and take the praise whether it was false or not.

However, in this case, L was not deceiving.

L wasn't trying trick Matt about what he thought about the gamer's technology abilities. In truth, L held a slight pride towards the teen for advancing further than he had expected him to. L lifted his thumb again and placed it comfortably against his lips. To get his point across further, L even casually commented, "If you keep improving your abilities, you'll soon be highly advanced in the technology area." L was sure to comment vague instead of telling Matt to improve on his hacking skills; L didn't want Matt to misinterpret his words.

L was not deceiving Matt with his words because one, he had no reason to fool the brunette. The man was in no way required to have a liking to _any_ of the students at Wammy's Orphanage. If he didn't like one of them, then he simply wouldn't like them. If he did, then he did. It might seem wrong through some people's eyes because it would be seen as a horrid situation if one of the admiring students found out their mentor didn't like them for whatever reason. However, L was indeed selfish sometimes. He wasn't going to act like he treated everyone equally because he found that tactic ridiculous. Also, would it be better to let someone believe you valued them when you truly didn't, or would it be better to let them know or at least hint that you did not care for them? L didn't want to aimlessly tamper with someone's emotions if he did not have to. Now, whether this was half of the reason L didn't use this tactic towards the students, or whether he used this as an excuse to cover up his selfishness...

Who knows.

It was fortunate for L that the three students at Wammy's House that he valued the most happened to be within the top three spots when it came to grades. Since Matt, Mello, and Near were the three L cared about greatly, he felt no reason to try to trick them. One, he'd gain nothing. Two, it would be aimlessly tampering with someone's emotions again.

L then turned away from the mirthful brunette and took a few steps onto the stone path that lead from the iron gate to the entrance of Wammy's Orphanage. The path also split off to the side of Wammy's House, but L would be making his way to the front because he was needing to speak with Roger. It was only naturally that L wanted to hear how the students at Wammy's Orphanage were doing—especially how Near, Matt, and Mello were progressing.

"I must attend to a few things now," L said simply as he turned away.

Matt reached up and readjusted his goggles yet again only to pull them down over his green eyes. The joyous smile was still plastered onto Matt's face as he gave a quick nod. Now chipper, Matt replied back pleasantly, "All right!" As he turned to race off through the grass to make his way to the back of the building where the fields of Wammy's Orphanage was, Matt called over his shoulder, "See ya!"

With more spirit in his step, Matt didn't feel so bothered by the fact that some of the boys at the orphanage had pestered him to come outside to play football(1). Matt particularly didn't like being outdoors to begin with because he preferred to be inside playing one of his gaming systems, but now he seemed more up for racing across the fields and kicking a mottled ball around that chilly autumn in the late afternoon.

~.:+:.~

"_Mello's got a crush! Mello's got a crush!" Matt chanted over and over again while hopping up and down beside me. I became more frustrated and embarrassed as a wide grin spread across the brunette's face. With each jump he took, his goggles that were resting around his neck nearly whacked him in the jaw. I wasn't as violent then, so I didn't want to use his own goggles as a strangling device, but I did wish they'd whack him in the face hard enough to leave a purple bruise._

"_I do not."_

_However, Matt didn't stop at his chanting just yet. "Mello's got a crush! Mello's got a crush!"_

_I quickly outburst this time. "Matt, I do not!"_

_The all-knowing grin on Matt's face that I remembered all too clearly flustered me then, but it only made me chuckle in thought now. Matt's large, green eyes were shining with triumph. "Yes, you do! Look! Your face is all red!"_

_I knew my face had turned a shade of pink, and Matt's pestering was only making my face grow hotter. Before I could object to Matt's words as we walked down the orphanage's hallways, Matt noisily roared out in song again, "Mello isn't yellow! Oh, Mello isn't yellow!"_

_Do you know how hard it is to ignore someone when not only are they singing obnoxiously at the top of their lungs right beside you but also when their voice echoes off the walls and down the hallways? It's not easy. I tried to find any way I could to ignore the young jokester. Making our way to the back of the orphanage so we could head outside, we passed by the Common Room. Inside the middle of the room, a white-haired boy sat with a plastic robot in his hand. Back then, Near didn't put together blank puzzles; he didn't get his first, blank puzzle until two years after that. Before the puzzles, he was content with just playing with his figurines._

_I paused in step for a moment as I peered into the open room. There had to of been other children playing within the Common Room, but I only distinctly remember focusing my attention on Near. As I watched the plastic robot in Near's hand fly through the air as if the robot had suddenly transformed into a rocket ship, I was able to successfully ignore Matt. I don't know which following events was more unfortunate: Near realizing I was watching him, or Matt beginning to interrogate me again._

"_So who is it?" Matt eagerly asked me with that wide grin still on his face._

_When I was younger, I wasn't able to successfully lie about what I was doing or what I thought. I snapped my head around too quickly, my blond locks whipping me in the face. The blush on my cheeks only darked a deeper shade of pink as my blue eyes were wide for a moment. Although I was able to quickly narrow my eyes, it was more out of frustration at being caught than my original annoyance I was showing my best friend. Matt quickly caught on, being as sharp back then as he was now._

_His green eyes trailed over to where I had been originally staring. The grin left his face as he blinked at the albino boy who went back to playing with his figurines as if neither of us were standing near the doorway and were staring at him. "Him?Near? A boy?" Matt scrunched up his nose, and his reaction only made my face turn redder. I tilted my head down a bit so my blond locks would cover my face._

_Suddenly, I fumed, "I do no—!"_

"_You do too!"_

"_Well, you like Sydney!" I retorted._

"_Yeah, but she doesn't have cooties!"_

_I blinked at him in confusion. "Cooties?"_

"_You know. Cooties! They're contagious!"_

_I rolled my eyes at the brunette. "There's not such thing as cooties, Matt. Teachers just make that stuff up to scare us."_

"_Nu-uh!" Matt rejected my explanation. "Cooties are real! I even got a cootie shot a couple of days ago because cooties are _everywhere_!" The brunette then extended his arms up to emphasize his words. He flapped his arms wildly as he exclaimed, "If you're not careful, Mello, then you'll get cooties!"_

_Blue eyes blinked blankly at him. "Cootie shot?"_

_Matt nodded. "Yeah, cootie shot." He stopped waving his arms around for a moment and brought attention to his left arm. He lifted it up, so I could see it. Faintly, pen markings could be seen on the side of his forearm. Drawn in black pen, there were two, lopsided circles and two dots in the center of them. "See?" He traced over the lines as he sang the short song, "Circle. Circle. Dot. Dot. Now, I've got my cootie shot."_

_A sly smirk stretched across my face as a mischievous glint shone in my blue eyes. Matt gave me a cautious look as my smirk widened. "You know, Matt...you need a cootie shot every day to make sure you don't get cooties." I then moved my attention away from Matt and took a few casual steps to the side, succeeding at making Matt's uneasiness grow. I lifted my hands up and shrugged as I finished, "I guess that's just too bad for you."_

"_Why?" Matt quickly asked, uncertainty in his voice._

_I then turned my head towards him and grinned. I lifted my arms up and stretched out my hands to make them appear like claws. Straightening myself up quickly, I tried to make myself look taller than I was. Wickedly, I exclaimed, "Because I have cooties!"_

_Matt let out an astonished squeak and flinched back. "Eek! Mello, stay back! Stay back!"_

_At seeing Matt's reaction, my wild grin only grew. As I began to charge forward, I shouted, "You better look out! I'm contagious!"_

Mello's memory faded out with him chasing Matt down the hallway and out of the building, both of them laughing hysterically as they playfully raced through the back property of Wammy's House. As the memory faded away in the blond's mind, a nostalgic, small smile pressed against his lips. He slowly walked through the orphanage with more weariness than usual. Due to Mello's distraught mood, the nostalgic smile didn't last long.

Bypassing Roger's office, Mello rolled his eyes at the closed door. Knowing that the caretaker was off at a teachers' meeting, the blond's hand brushed over the handle to find the door to Roger's office unlocked. Mello couldn't help but smirk at the careless caretaker. _He really is forgetful._ However, since Mello wasn't in a mischievous mood or even in a content mood, he quietly closed the door and left it as it was.

Walking through the large, main entrance of the building, Mello found that the more his mind wondered, the more distracted he became. The one thing that had been on his mind all day—and for awhile, actually—was Near. It had been a couple of weeks, nearly a month, since the incident between him and Near in the Common Room. Ever since then he couldn't get the teen out of his mind, and every so often, the image of Near broken on the tile floor of the Common Room would plague his mind.

Although unfortunate that he was growing restless with these thoughts, he found himself slightly lucky because these thoughts and memories blocked out his night traumas—the ones that accidentally caused him to waylay his best friend. However, it still didn't bring any comfort to the blond. All that day, memories casually circled his mind like a marry-go-round. However, this ride was becoming unpleasant, even if the memories were joyful.

Mello paused in his stroll when he found himself in front of the entrance to the Common Room. Recalling the memory that most recently went through his mind, he gave a small, lopsided smile; he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that particular memory. Again, he pictured a younger version of Near sitting contently in the room while playing with a pale blue, plastic robot. The young Matt's words echoed tauntingly through Mello's mind. _"Mello's got a crush! Mello's got a crush!"_

The blond gave a short chuckle through his nose at the remembrance of Matt's rambunctiousness when they were younger. Although the subject had never been brought up again nor acknowledged, Matt had been right that summer day. Of course, though, it was nothing serious. At that age, nothing quite went past let's share our candy with each other or let's hold hands. Crushes or admirations for any child of that age never lasted for too long; even at such a young age, human emotions still proved to be fickle.

Although the truth of the matter was, that crush towards the snowcapped boy came back years later. The only people who had known about this had been the people involved, Mello and Near. Mello never informed even Matt of the infatuation due to embarrassment. Mello was fairly sure that Near knew about how he felt at the time or at least had a decent guess. _It's not like that now._ Mello quickly defended himself in thought, even though he was only versing himself. _He's nothing more than a rival...isn't he?_

However, his thoughts and memories continued to flow through his mind. His mind reminded him how the attraction abruptly ended. When the orphans at Wammy's House were younger, Roger wasn't very strict with them when it came to grades; it was always 'do the best you can' and so on. However, once they reached the age of eleven, competition over grades began. The caretaker would give all of them a large lecture about L, who he was, what he did, and how they were all involved. That turning point had been the point of no return.

In the end when Mello and Near ended up being towards the top of the totem pole of grades, Mello quickly used the competition between grades as an excuse to mask his attraction. The infatuation that had been going towards its third month anniversary was kicked into the gutter instantly, and the friendship that the two of them had fairly maintained over the years gradually demolished.

As the years went by and the friendship collapsed, the crush and friendship had been strongly replaced with annoyance and irritation. As the years continued on even further, the annoyance and irritation had been replaced with malice and spite. Unfortunately, the hatred awakened a darker part of Mello, but it wasn't because of this transgression alone. Mello then reached up to take hold of his red-and-black, beaded rosary. He gently twirled the silver cross in his fingers as he was luckily able to block out a different, specific memory. It was the day that a specific item came in for Mello. An item that Roger gave Mello while trying to carefully word his sentences. An item that held the remembrance of Mello's past. His beloved rosary had been that item. Although it brought him comfort, it also plagued him with insecurity. An insecurity that could only be caused from a particular memory of his that would forever be dark and dreadful.

Mello's eyes narrowed bitterly as he tried to cleanse his cluttered mind of these specific thoughts. His blue eyes rolled over the Common Room once again before he smirked. As he went back to remembering the conversation he and Matt held when they were younger, Mello didn't suppress his laugh. He shook his head, and as he continued to walk down the hallway, he amusedly mumbled, "To think Matt ever liked that bitch."

"_Please don't say it...Please save me the trouble."_

Near plagued his thoughts once more, causing the blond to frown as he continued down the hallway. No matter what he thought about or what he did, Near always crawled back into Mello's mind. In life, there were a number of subjects that got under Mello's skin. When Matt didn't open the window in their shared bedroom and let the secondhand smoke pollute their room, Mello became instantly irritated. When Linda tried to spark up a conversation with him and would ramble on, Mello found himself annoyed beyond belief. Now, when he thought of Near and the incident that happened in the Common Room, Mello felt...

Remorse. Sympathy. Curiosity.

At the moment, Mello felt the strong urge to turn and punch his fist right through the closest wall. It was entirely frustrating to the blond that he could feel any one of those emotions towards Near, who Mello claimed to be his rival. All these mixed up, cluttered emotions were conflicting with Mello's claim to see Near as a rival and rival only.

_I shouldn't care about a rival, but I do..._The blond paused when he found himself at the far east side of the building. That side of the building wasn't usually where the Wammy orphans played rowdily and nosily. The reason being is because the fields and places to play were on the west and south sides of the building. Here on the east side, there was an enclosed, stone patio. On the patio there were large, stone columns that stretched from the the stone railing around the patio to the thin, stone ceiling. There were a few benches, a single, white, metal table, and two white chairs on the patio. This area was mostly used by the teachers when they needed a break. However, it was also used by the orphans when they wanted to relax or relieve stress by sitting or standing on the patio and gaze across the field at the woods or the few trees that kinked the small grassland before the woods. Then right before the patio was a stone and brick porch that wrapped around that side of the building, a small entrance in between the wrap around, stone porch and the stone patio.

Standing near the double, sliding door made of glass, Mello's blue eyes widened for a moment. _Is that Near?_ Sure enough, the albino was standing on the patio, staring out at the distance. The wind ruffled his loose, over-sized pajamas as he stood there. Although Near's white pajamas were long-sleeved, Mello highly doubted the thin material provided much warmth from the autumn chill. Milky white locks of curly hair were being swayed by the breeze, a few strands falling across his face. Although Mello couldn't see the other teen's face completely due to the angle of where Near was standing, he could see there was a look of isolation on Near's features.

_What's happened to you, Near? You've changed. The others don't notice it, but I do...Have I changed? Was it me that somehow changed during all of this? ...Or was it both of us?_ A soft frown pressed against Mello's lips as he stood there in front of the sliding, glass doors. Reaching up to rub his left shoulder while shifting his weight, Mello's right arm rested across his chest for a moment as he pondered. _You look so abandoned out there. Are you pushing away from the world, or is the world pushing you away? Maybe we're all to blame._

The blond's eyes lightly narrowed as he asked himself again why he was standing there, gazing out a Near gazing out at an empty world. It was like staring at a blank canvas, but instead of this canvas giving encouragement to the artist and reflecting the vast room for growth, hope, and wonder as to what the masterpiece could become, this canvas remained blank. Blank. Hollow. Empty. After thinking about this subject for longer than Mello found comfortable, he internally sighed as he gave into his heart and emotions, accepting something he didn't want to accept. The fact that he cared. _Ugh. Damn it all._

The moment that Near turned his head, feeling that someone was watching him, Mello froze. Flickering, blue fire met dead, gray fog. Neither Mello or Near moved once their eyes locked with one another. It didn't take long for Mello, who was indeed competitive, to see the hidden challenge of their situation. Near's dull, ashen pools reflected nothing as he waited for the blond to make his move in the challenge that had silently presented itself to the two of them. The glass door between the two of them was the only barrier that separated Near's detached world from the world Mello was a part of. Now, it came down to whether Mello would break down the obstacle between them to accompany the gray-eyed teen, or if Mello would turn away disinterested and leave Near alone. Staring into the hollow, ashen pools while Mello tried to think about what his decision should be, he couldn't help but wonder if it had been him alone that scorched Near down to cinders or something more abstract and complex.

"Forgive me. Am I interrupting something?"

The hairs on the back of Mello's neck stood straight up as a chill raced up his spine. He leaped around, feeling awkward that he had been caught in between the act of debating whether or not he was going to venture outside with Near. "God damn it! Could you just mind your own busin—?" Mello froze the instant he turned around, coming face to face with L himself. It was the fact that he actually didn't come face to face with someone, coming a few inches below the raven-haired man who was bent forward in his usual, strange position with his back curved. With Mello's blue eyes wide in surprise, L seemed to be smiling slightly with his thumb pressed against his lips.

"L-L!" Mello stammered, now embarrassed by the fact that he just snapped and cursed at his respected mentor. The blond took a step back in reflex, now feeling shameful.

"Good evening, Mello," L greeted in his usual, calm, and considerate manor, like he was ignoring the blond's original, harsh words. "Now, did you need to talk to Near? I can speak to the two of you later if you are both going to be busy."

Now, the great detective, L, knew that Mello and Near hardly ever got along. He knew this, but something seemed a bit off that evening. It wasn't the holiday aura that was soon to come. No, L knew that trivial things as that wouldn't cause Mello and Near to form a compromise of any kind. Having the intuition that something was different, L said these last words to prove himself either right or wrong. Although he expected himself to be right about this situation, it still came as a bit of a shock to the detective. He was curious as to what had happened during the period between this visit to Wammy's and his previous one.

Observing closely like L usually did, he noticed how Mello's independent, confident stance had changed. He was now standing to one side with slight awkwardness, like he couldn't get comfortable while standing there. His cerulean blue eyes were making contact with L, yes, but out of respect alone. The usual, glistening pride had left Mello's eyes. Rich eyes glistened like the eyes of an underdog. Troubled. Unsure. Lost. However, these pools of blue still belonged to Mello. These eyes, even though they reflected the struggle Mello held, still belonged to the independent and confident blond. In saying that, these eyes also shined with an undying determination to figure out what was going on within him to fix the issues, whatever they may be.

Although only for a second, L watched as Mello blinked his eyes away before locking them back with the detective's onyx orbs. The blond appeared uncomfortable, wanting to shift his weight but not wanting to admit that he felt awkward standing there. Was he uncomfortable because L was here now, or was he uncomfortable because Near was watching him now, or was it something else? Mello's arms were stiffly at his sides, trying to relax them but unable to. "No, I don't need to talk to Near," Mello simply informed the man. "You're not interrupting anything."

An alertness filled the black-haired detective's eyes after the blond spoke. _Not interrupting anything?_ "So you came here to enjoy the autumn scenery on the porch?" Although L didn't say it, he might as well said at the end 'with Near'. If Mello wanted to enjoy the outside aura, his general resistance against being around Near would have been stronger. This would have kept Mello away from the white-haired boy, but it had already been a little late to cover up that something was different between them.

Mello's blue eyes rolled over to where the glass, sliding door was, seeing that Near was still watching them. The blond mumbled out, "I was passing by..."

A lie. A discovered lie between the two of them. Why would Mello lie if he were already caught, especially when it had been L who had caught him? The detective had seen him standing there, internally debating something in his mind as him and Near's eyes were locked. Mello knew the man had saw him, so why? A silent confession? Maybe. The chances of that were high. Mello was admitting to lying about standing there without the intension of wanting to bash Near's head in. Then why lie? Was it that Mello was ashamed? Embarrassed?

Uncertainty. Mello lied because of uncertainty. Unsure about the situation, unsure about the outcomes, and unsure about the motives. Those misty eyes had already reflected a struggle, and now this lie told L what it was that Mello was struggling with. Then the fact that Mello's tone of voice told L that he was silently seeking help. He wanted L's help. He wanted help from the one adult that Mello truly respected. However, L knew he could possibly be overlooking things, so he would be unable to give Mello the advice and assistance Mello was searching for if the blond could not ask for it. Also in saying that, Mello fortunately knew this as well. The question was now if Mello _would_ hold his pride down long enough to seek for assistance. Of course, however, L could be wrong completely and if that was the case, Mello wouldn't need to ask anything at all.

_Things have changed since the last time I was here._

Mello's eyes rolled over to where Near was again, stayed locked on his for a moment before narrowing with bitterness. There was a long-termed bitterness that was pushing its way up through Mello. The bitterness shifted to a wild anger similar to that of a wildfire; the fire was unstable and threatened to scorch everything instead of just a particular, controlled fire. This deep-rooted anger surged through him, but only for a moment. He then looked away from both Near and L and closed his eyes. His hands tightened into fists as he sighed.

"L," Mello began quietly with his eyes now half-lidded and directed away still. "Have you ever been...confused on a case?"

Surprise flowed through the detective at the blond's question. L was about half ready to head outside to see Near or ask Mello about how his school work was doing, not believing that the blond would actually pop the detective a question. Knowing Mello, L expected him to avoid the subject or leave, not actually search for help and assistance. _There must be something really bothering him if he's going as far as to talk about it..._ Although L was weighing these thoughts in his mind, his exterior remained the same.

Mello had shook his head, looking like he was ready to bail out on the question he just asked. Before he could get a chance to brush off the subject or change his mind, L simply answered, "Yes, I have."

Blue eyes widened momentarily, his attention heading straight back to the detective and the conversation itself. A shocked echo of L's statement almost escaped Mello's lips, but he held it back. Pondering it for a moment, the blond tried to figure out in his mind what it was exactly that he was getting at. For a second, Mello wondered if L was lying out of sympathy, but he quickly threw that thought out.

"What did you do?" Mello asked carefully, "To cure your...confusion?"

A small, half smile, half smirk formed against the thumb that was placed against L's lips. The detective gave a small pause before responding in his even tone of voice, "I found the answers by clearing my mind, debating the options, and confronting the most likely ones before weighing the results."

Mello frowned. "Wouldn't thinking about the issue too much cause more confusion?"

"Not if you think about it enough and act."

The blond pondered this thought for a moment before giving a short nod, looking away again. As the words echoed in his mind, Mello gave a second nod, this time to L in thanks. The detective replied with, "Is there anything else you wish to talk about, Mello?" When the blond shook his head, L began to move more towards the glass doors. "I'm going to talk to Near for a bit before I depart back. Good day, Mello, and happy holidays."

Mello gave another curt nod before giving a halfway smile. "Happy holidays to you too, L." A part of the blond wanted to add a thank you to the end of his sentence, but he debated against it. Even in this strange state of his, Mello was still Mello; he felt a bit too awkward and embarrassed to say thanks. However, he was sure L knew that Mello was grateful either way about the small bit of needed advice.

As L slipped outside and as Mello started down the hallway, the weight of the situation circled the detective's mind. _Some say that unfortunate events happen in pairs, but I wasn't expecting that from Mello. _The wind met the detective, lightly brushing through his raven black hair the moment he walked outside. It was already unusual that Near was outside of all places, especially without any toy or puzzle, but L didn't think too much into it. Well, at least L didn't think he was thinking too much into it. There was always the possibility that L just caught Near on one of those rare times during the week where the prodigy wanted fresh air.

Near turned slightly towards the detective when he exited Wammy's House to head out to the patio. He greeted him in his usual, monotonous voice. "Good afternoon, L."

L exchanged the same, formal greeting before standing near one of the patio walls, close to where Near was standing. Their conversation was a brief exchange of questions on how the orphanage life was going for Near. After a couple of minutes, they allowed themselves to silence. Near continued to stare out at the colorful, autumn scenery. In fact, the only moment he took his eyes off of the background was when L first approached him. L had noticed this and lightly took note of it. Within the silence, L's obsidian eyes side glanced over to where the albino was standing. The detective couldn't quite place it, but something felt strange; the comfortable silence was seeming to lack in complete comfort and relaxation.

Something seemed odd and off, and L was going to find out exactly what it was that was going on. L wasn't one to brush things off. After deciding on what route to take on this, L asked casually, "How are you and Mello?" He didn't ask more, and he didn't ask less. He'd leave it up to Near as to how he took the question and as to how he'd answer it. Near still didn't turn his attention away from the scenery, but L could see a light frown take form on Near's face.

Near told L simply, "We still have the same misunderstanding." Like L, he didn't say more, and he didn't say less. L left it at that. Things were different with Near and Mello both together and individually, but at the same time, they were the same. The detective wanted to know what it was that was going on, but he knew that it wasn't his place.

Mello and Near's relationship was never L's decision to make or his place to change. He had to explain this to Roger a few times because the caretaker wished to believe that the detective could fix and alter things. No matter how much Mello and Near looked up to L, the only ones who could change the relationship were those two involved. The only thing L might possibly be able to do was mask their relationship in short bursts and short periods of time, but he knew that was not what Roger was wanting and asking for.

However, that didn't mean that L didn't want Mello and Near to get along. By all means, he wished his two successors would get along as much as Mello and Matt got together. Although it might not seem like it from the perspective of outsiders, L really did care about all three of them—Mello, Near, and Matt, so of course he'd want them to all get along well. L also knew that if it wasn't for Mello's relations with Near that Matt and Near would be on swell terms. After all, they were all getting along before the rivalry between Mello and Near began.

L was just about to leave the patio to head back to Japan, but before he could give his farewell, Near commented first. What Near said next caught L so off guard that he froze. The small comment caused the hairs on the back of his neck to rise. His dark, coal eyes widened sharply as a mixture of emotions swirled inside him.

"Autumn's looking quite captivating this evening."

The detective's thought process cut off when those words wrapped around his brain. His attention was turned and placed fully on Near who stood beside him. Obsidian eyes blurred the reality around him, his memories blinding his site. Two images flickered in L's vision: the image of Near, and the image of someone L was subconsciously thinking about all day. Long, red-orange strands replaced curly, white locks. Even tan skin replaced the ghostly pale pigment. Before L knew it, A had replaced the image of Near.

Misty gray eyes gazed over at the detective, an even smile on the face L knew to be A. _"Don't you think so, L?"_ The words echoed through L's head before he was put into a flashback. A flash from the past of the days when L was still living under the orphanage's roof. For a particular reason, L was subconsciously grateful that the memory he was getting tossed back into was back to a time when A was still smiling.

_The rich smell of fresh, pumpkin pie flowed through my nose as I carried a plate with a slice of pie on it close to my chest as I walked. Walking around the slight wrap around porch that was within the back of Wammy's House where the patio area was, I quickly spotted the long-haired teen. He was sitting on top of one of the stone walls, staring out at the scenery. The redhead lightly kicked his legs back and forth casually. In his hand, he held a mostly eaten, red apple. For as long as I knew him, I knew very well how much that redhead loved apples. Not just any apples, but specifically red apples._

_He spotted me quickly. He turned his head to gaze over at me with those misty, gray eyes of his. A smile stretched across his face as he greeted, "Good afternoon, L!"_

_That smile always did something to my insides. That smile that made his eyes twinkle silver and brighten his facial features, his smile making my heart skip a beat in my chest. _At the time, it always ruffled my insides and made me want to look away in embarrassment. Now, thinking about the feeling just made L's heart hurt. The feeling made him not ever want to think of the time or him again. However, it wasn't L's choice to be thrown into this flashback.

_Dipping my head to him friendly, I returned the greeting. "Greetings, A. Happy holidays to you."_

_His smile widened for a second at my greeting. For some reason, he always thought it was pleasantly odd the way I said 'greetings' to people. For some reason he had a liking to that word. Well, when I said it anyway. A quickly nodded. "Happy holidays to you too, L."_

_Stepping onto the patio and making my way towards the redhead, I held up the pumpkin pie slice I was carrying. I glanced down subconsciously for a moment before looking back at him and explaining, "I went ahead and got you a slice of pumpkin pie."_

_A's face brightened up at the presented gift. Taking the plate, the redhead grinned and heartfelt thanked me. The thanks with gratitude gave a light squeeze to my insides. Then the smile that he flashed me after savoring a single bite of the sweet, holiday pie made me shift my weight. For some reason I was feeling exposed standing there._

_I stood near one of the stone walls, looking out at the same scenery that A was looking out at as he munched one of his favorite treats. Standing there in a calm silence, A quietly murmured, "Autumn's quite captivating this evening...Don't you think so, L?"_

_A had always loved nature. Whether it was the gentle breeze, a flourishing tree, a beautifully painted flower, or a newborn fawn prancing through the forest, A loved it all. Most of all the nature he loved to see was the autumn season. To see everything changing was very magical to the teen, remembering that not everything stays the same. Even though the seasons were destined to change, the way it changed every year was different. Then seeing everything so colorful was quite captivating in the redhead's gray eyes. The way amber, golden, ruby, and sorrel colors painted the land was relaxing and mystifying. To speak the truth, anything relating to the autumn season was associated back with A in my mind, especially the color orange—A's favorite color. _

_When my dark eyes glanced over at him, he had his head dipped down, a sad smile on his face. "I wish Quill could come out here to see it...He's been in the infirmary all morning and all last night." A deep sigh escaped his throat, changing the entire mood of that holiday afternoon. "It's his stomach again."_

_I gave a half nod of acknowledgement, pausing for a moment. Trying to sound at least half hopeful and wanting to bring the mood back up again, I told him, "Nurse Claire might let him out of the clinic for a bit this evening for the holiday. You could show him then."_

_A gave a small nod. "Yeah, you're right...I could show him then."_

Many images then quickly flashed through L's mind, smothering the original, calm, nostalgic memory that slowly turned to a sorrowful aura. Many memories of the redhead flashed through his blinded eyes, along with a few images of A and Q together and Q alone. Suddenly, a not so wonderful memory strongly shoved its way to the front of L's mind.

The image of a broken A.

_The redhead's ginger strands messily fell over his face and around his body. His body shook and trembled from horrid shock and continuous lamenting. He was huddled in the corner of one of the empty hallways of Wammy's Orphanage. When approached, the redhead weakly lifted his head an inch to barely glance up at the black-haired teen. Hollow, gray eyes fogged over with depression stared through L as the redhead scratchily told him, "I-It finally happened, L...It f-finally happened."_

Coming back to reality, L's senses were still a bit blurred from being in reality one second and being within the past the next second. Slowly L's senses began to sharpen, but when he began to concentrate, there was an unreal feeling wrapping around the detective. The image of A's hollow, gray eyes slowly faded to Near's own gray eyes that were now staring directly at L. Foggy, arsenic eyes morphed into hollow, gray pools; the present reflecting the past and the past foreshadowing the present. The emotion L felt next made L's heart sink, unease sweep through his body, and a bit of fear surge through his veins. Realizing the weight of the situation, L was beginning to fear for Near's safety.

Near quietly tried to awake L out of his dazed state. Slowly, he asked, "Will you have to be leaving soon...?"

By the way Near asked the question carefully and slowly told L that the prodigy was confused why L had suddenly spaced out. Honestly however, L was a bit confused himself. After having a couple of flashbacks, L was trying to sort himself out, trying to figure out what he needed to do next. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure on what to do either.

L just gave a small nod to Near, his spaced out appearance replaced with his usual, calm expression. He reached up to press his thumb against his bottom lip as he tried to recap on the memories and try to figure out his next move. "Yes, I must be leaving," he admitted. Countering his spaced out moment, he commented, "I was just thinking about a case I have and that I need to be heading back soon."

L turned and moved away from Near, heading back towards the orphanage. With a mix of emotions flowing through L's insides, the raven-haired man stopped for a moment, turned his head slightly, and murmured to the albino, "Enjoy your holiday, Near." However, L had a bad feeling that Near wasn't going to be enjoying the feasts tomorrow on the holiday like L would hope. Unfortunately, L's guess was right, and what was even worse than that was that L knew there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

Note #1: In England, soccer is called 'football'. (:

I hope you guys liked it!  
Hope it was worth the long wait! Dx

So what do you guys think about the interaction between the characters so far? :O  
Lol. By the end of this, you guys are going to have to tell me what you think about my version of A and my two OC characters that are within this story. X3  
Hahaha. Did I abuse my OC powers? I guess you guys will have to tell me by the end because you guys really won't know until then. C:  
...I just hope I have all the major relationships between the characters right and that I'm not forgetting anything! Dx Like I hope Mello and Near's relationship isn't getting rushed, etc. Hopefully not though. I'm hoping that I did pretty well on that.

Anyhow! Anthem For The Underdog is starting to progress through the storyline now~  
In fact, a couple of things are going to be explained in the next chapter. P: Yay for explanations! You'll find out more about the arc behind L's past. ^ ^  
And yay for fluffy, MelloNear flashback memory? XD Lol

Love you guys, and your reviews make me feel very loved. C:  
So tons of thanks to those who review and have reviewed!  
They keep me inspired and happy~


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